If You're Happy And You Know It!

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it and your face will surely show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands!"

I have had that kids song stuck in my head all day today.  It has been going around and around in circles on repeat since I dropped my daughter off at school this morning.  Not because we were singing the song together, but because of the topic of our conversation.  

We rarely get to school early, but today was one of those special days.  We both woke up on time, got ready speedy quick and hopped into the car.  I was able to take my time and drive my daughter to school in a timely fashion.  And we got there before the bell rang so we sat in the car in the drop-off line with the other parents.  

As we waited, a car pulled up behind me and beeped its horn.  I looked in front of me and saw numerous other cars.  I looked to my left and saw the school building.  I looked to my right and saw all the kids who walk to school.  And finally, I took a deep breath and looked around behind me.  

The man in the car behind me was flailing his arms up and down.  Then he motioned for me to drive forward by waving his arms in an onward direction.  So I turned back around and said out loud in an angry voice, "WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO GO?!"  My calm little angel in the back seat responded, "Mommy, why did he make you so mad?"  

As we continued to sit in the car and wait for the bell to sound for school to start, I pondered my current situation.  Part of me wanted to get out of the car and chat with the man behind me.  I would say, "Hello sir!  Clearly there is no where I can go, so I am not sure why you beeped your horn at me in a school parking lot!  Have a good day!"  But instead of initiating a conversation outside the car, I decided to turn this into a learning lesson inside the car.  

My daughter and I engaged in a discussion about how people can quickly, within moments, make you feel differently.  For example, I was happy, calm and collected until the man behind me beeped his horn.  At which point in time, I became irritable, annoyed and angry.  With one simple sound, I turned off my joy and turned on my frustration.  

It is amazing to me how one beep of a horn reminded me to not let other people steal your joy.  This was a life lesson of how quickly a situation can change how you feel, but yet my reaction to the situation mattered much more than the honking of the horn.  My emotions changed because I allowed someone to have an affect over me, rather than staying calm and maybe not even reacting at all.  

So when the bell rang and my daughter wiggled her way out of the car, I leaned over and said, "What did we learn today?!"  And she goes, "Don't let other people dictate how you feel!  And I love you!  And goodbye!"  

The next time you slide your feet into those special shoes, I hope you will honor the feelings you have in your heart.  And my special thought for you, is to learn from my situation and try to be mindful of your feelings as you react to other people.  Maybe take a deep breath and look around you to determine the severity of the circumstances first.  Then lean into your own feelings and away from allowing others to make you feel unhappy.  Therefore, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!"  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

No Patience Left

 

I run out of patience so easily.  I feel like while patience is an important virtue, it is not one that I readily possess.  I feel like my patience is constantly limited.  And while I have a lot of great attributes as a person, having patience does not tend to be top on my list.   

I recently read an article about a famous singer who literally never talks down to children.  Instead of height being a distinct difference, this celebrity always squats down when they talk to young children who are significantly shorter than themselves.  They make it a point to get to a child's view of the world before talking or embracing a younger person.  

The article was important to me because it reminded me of how I present myself to young children as well.  Whether it is my daughter, my nieces and nephews or children of my friends, I make it a point to try and speak to them at their level.  And it makes a big difference as to how I interact with younger individuals.  

BUT what does this have to do with patience?  I know that there are certain circumstances in life that test my patience more than others.  And many of these situations revolve around kids.  For instance, I was taking care of my niece and she wanted to go outside but it was raining.  So, I squatted down to her level and snuggled her up in my arms.  I explained to her that it was raining outside which means we had to find an indoor game to play.  At which point in time, she screamed "NO I AM GOING OUTSIDE!" and every part of me lacked patience to deal with this temper tantrum.  

So, I did what every good aunt would do.  I stood up, took a deep breath, and watched my niece roll around on the floor in anger.  At this point, every part of my patience was running thin.  I could think of 20 different indoor activities we could play, but none of these ideas sounded like "fun" to my little niece who wanted only to go outside.  

At this point, it was time to get creative with the plan.  We were going outside one way or another because I had no patience to try and negotiate with this angry little human.  So, I got back down on my knees, calmed her down by gently rubbing her back and promised an alternative solution to this problem.  Looking into her little eyes, I told her to get bundled up, put on her rain coat and boots because we were going outside to play in the rain.  

When I tell you we got soaking wet, we got WET.  Every layer of my clothing was soaked all the way through by playing in the rain.  But, watching my niece smile made it all worth while.  And after about a half hour, we went inside, changed into dry clothes and had a cup of hot chocolate. 

The frustration I had due to my lack of patience felt unbearable.  And during times when my patience runs thin, I know that I need to take a deep breath and momentarily remove myself from the situation.  I have to clear my mind and make way for a plausible solution to the problem at hand.  And sometimes, I just need to honor the fact that patience may not be one of my greatest qualities.  However, I also learned a long time ago to use skills that I readily have at hand.  And problem solving is, in fact, a virtue I possess.  

So when in doubt, I lean into my greatest qualities as a person and breathe through my impatience.  And whether in high heels or rain boots, I always try to squat down to make eye contact with all the little humans in my life when I speak to them.  I know that finding patience, when there is none left, can be hard.  And yet walking away to take a moment to myself helps me through these difficult situations.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

You Mean Something To Someone

I recently read, "Be The Reason Someone Feels... supported, seen, valued, welcomed, heard and loved".  And this simply and subtly shook my world.  Knowing full well that I have the ability to care about someone so much that they feel seen and valued makes me feel so important to the people around me.  It makes me want to be a better version of myself because I live in a world where I can have a positive affect on other people.  And so can you because you mean something to someone.


I was at the supermarket the other day and I ran into an old friend.  He walked right up to me and said, "Hi! Oh my goodness I was thinking of you earlier today!  I feel like I haven't seen you in a while.  I am so glad I ran into you today and that you are okay."  I embraced him with a huge hug and told him I was so grateful that the world brought us together.  A simple "hello" meant so much to both of us.  Before we left and went our own ways, I said, "Thank you for thinking of me and caring about me".


It meant so much to me that I came to mind for a friend earlier in the day.  The simple fact that he thought of me means that he cares.  And since the world brought us together, he was able to have the opportunity to tell me how much he missed me.  He let me know that he cared enough about me that I was on his mind. And that I was a part of his world because friends leave impacts on the lives of one another.


That night, I was talking to my husband and shared with him who I saw at the grocery store.  And as I was telling the story, it sat heavily on my heart that in that moment, I meant something to someone.  And you mean something to someone, too.


There are people in your life that mean the world to you and you mean the world to them.  This person has a special impact upon your life.  Sometimes this is a best friend, a family member or someone you just met for the first time.  Maybe you talk to them all the time.  Other times, it is a person you see less frequently but they care about you more than you could ever imagine.


Today as you put your high heels on, I hope you will also snuggle a warm smile into your heart knowing that you matter.  You matter to someone who cares very deeply about your presence in this enormous world.  You, my friend, mean something to someone out there who loves you and cares about you very much.


LOVE PEOPLE LOUDLY.

Tell them often.
Cheer them on as they go after their goals.
Hug them (if they like hugs) every chance you get.
No one ever got to the end of their life and thought,
"I wish I'd left more people wondering about how much I cared."
By Lori Descene


Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

The Gift Of Time

 

Recently, I have been struggling to better understand the importance of time.  And as I was pondering this question, I began thinking more about the concept of time as a gift to both myself and others.  This includes continuing to give other people segments of my time because these moments are precious.  I know that time, to me, is a gift that I can gladly offer to another person knowing that I will never get those moments back.  

I have a Masters Degree in Organization and Leadership.  In my studies, I discovered how we relate to others and how we see ourselves in relationship with the rest of the world around us.  For example, a person who is a leader sees themselves in the reflection of others.  Therefore, a leader collaborates with others knowing the importance of coordination amongst relationships.  

As I unraveled my graduate studies, I learned about the importance of the past, present and future.  For example, a leader learns from the past so that they can look forward to a different future.  And, honoring the present moment means reflecting on the time which has gone before them and therefore looking forward to the moments that have yet to be part of their lives.   

The importance of this theory is that a person who is a "leader" will lean into the present moment.  They are witness to the importance of each special moment in our lives.  And they guide others to see the importance of the present.  And for some people, the greatest gift that they can be given is someone else giving, to them, some of their time.  

When I look around me, I see leaders all over the world.  Leaders are not just present in organizations and businesses.  Some people are born oozing leadership skills knowing how to collaborate in relation with others around them.  And other times, leadership is learned as we co-create safe spaces to spend time with each other.  

When you look in the mirror, do you see a leader?  I know that I do!  Because in each present moment, we give our gifts of time in different ways.  For example, when we listen to a friend who needs someone to talk to.  Or when we send a text message to someone who came to mind that maybe we have not spoken to in a while.  Or, we will take a moment, to tell a person we do not know, that their bright pink shoes are pretty just to see a smile on their face!

Each one of these moments is important to someone that it affects.  We cannot get those moments back because as they pass us by, they become part of our past.  But if we are here on earth to look forward to the future, then I hope we will lean into the gift of giving our time to others.  This serves both us and those around us by honoring our importance in the lives of one another. 

So today, put on your high heels and walk out into the world knowing that you, too, are a leader.  This is because you know that every moment of your life has an affect on the lives of those around you.  And that collaboration in relationship with others is very important and honorable.  Each moment that we offer another person is a simple yet powerful gift.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.