Recently, my husband and I celebrated our seven year
wedding anniversary. This time of year
brings forward reflection and feelings of humbleness. While it was the best hurricane wedding ever
(we got married during hurricane Irene) it came with trials of health for me
and patience and love for my husband.
We were living in San Francisco, California at the time and two months prior to our wedding I got a new job working for a promising start-up company downtown. I was hired to be an Office Manager/Executive Assistant but my boss had me cleaning the refrigerator and planning small events.
A week into the new job I shut down. I was on my way to work one morning and I called my fiancé to let him know I was somewhere downtown hysterically crying. I remember standing in a corner next to one of many tall buildings downtown telling Trevor that I couldn’t go on anymore.
When Trevor found me I was a puddle of tears and fear of harming myself and lacking any hope. So he did what every brave man would do and he took me to the Emergency Room for immediate medical attention. Interestingly enough the doctor did not admit me instead he kept me in observation and sent me home with referrals to psychiatric and psychological help.
What was to follow included a blurry month of numbness, fear and depression. I was diagnosed with Major Depression and could not function on my own. My mom and my brother flew out to take care of me.
We were living in San Francisco, California at the time and two months prior to our wedding I got a new job working for a promising start-up company downtown. I was hired to be an Office Manager/Executive Assistant but my boss had me cleaning the refrigerator and planning small events.
A week into the new job I shut down. I was on my way to work one morning and I called my fiancé to let him know I was somewhere downtown hysterically crying. I remember standing in a corner next to one of many tall buildings downtown telling Trevor that I couldn’t go on anymore.
When Trevor found me I was a puddle of tears and fear of harming myself and lacking any hope. So he did what every brave man would do and he took me to the Emergency Room for immediate medical attention. Interestingly enough the doctor did not admit me instead he kept me in observation and sent me home with referrals to psychiatric and psychological help.
What was to follow included a blurry month of numbness, fear and depression. I was diagnosed with Major Depression and could not function on my own. My mom and my brother flew out to take care of me.
They
helped me literally get out of bed every morning. They helped me put my feet on the ground and
forced me to pull the sheets up so as not to get back into bed. They opened the mini blinds in our apartment and
made me eat a little bit of food. I am
5’5” tall and at the time, I weighed 110lbs soaking wet.
This was about the time that we lost
everything. I lost my job and went on
disability. We started to sell all our
belongings and prepared to move across the country to live with my mom in
Delaware. We lost our apartment because
we could not afford it any longer.
And somewhere in the midst of it all, we got
married. I found hope in working with a
psychotherapist and psychiatrist out of San Francisco. We practiced mindfulness and worked on seeing
the future, one moment at a time.
Thankfully my husband saw a future with me in the midst of all the
darkness. And seven years later, we are humbly
still talking about that part of our lives.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
