Taking the Path of Least Resistance By Esther Hofknecht Curtis, MSM-HCA

I am excited to have a guest blogger this week!  Esther is a dear friend of mine and I am honored that she wrote a lovely message for us.  Enjoy!


I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past few years. I’ve learned about the universe and how our lives are all intertwined. I’ve learned to follow my intuition and look for signs that I’m on the right path to reach my life’s goals. Above all, I’ve learned that good things come to those that wait, but good things come a lot faster to those that take the path of least resistance. And that has been a challenge for me to accept and apply to my daily life.


I am not religious, but I am a spiritual sojourner. In the past few years, I’ve discovered that Lao Tzu’s The Way of the Tao is the only spiritual teaching that makes any sense to me. The Tao teaches mindfulness, introspection, and tapping into the core nature of our own spirit. As a science junkie, I know enough to know Tao teachings don’t contradict basic science. (That’s more than I can say for many other mainstream religions.) For me, that’s enough.


The Tao is written in an ancient dialect and has been translated and interpreted many times, so it’s hard to understand. Not only that, but the concepts within the Tao are complex, and require a certain degree of understanding of metaphysics. It is not light reading, and it’s not for everyone.


I’ve found the best way to absorb the Tao is learning from those who studied and interpreted it for themselves. Many authors have tapped into the Tao to help people change their lives in amazing ways. Among them are Dr. Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, Madisyn Taylor (DailyOM), Marie Kondo, Oprah Winfrey, and Tricia Brennan, who I quote here:


“In truth, taking the path of least resistance is the wisest option, which is the way of the Tao. Lao Tzu described the concept of Wu-Wei, meaning ‘without exertion,’ as a mental state in which actions are quite effortless. He talks of ‘action through non-action,’ in alignment with the ebb and flow of the natural world. The aim is to move in harmony with life rather than force an outcome.”


For someone like me (a person with ADHD), I have had to force myself to do everything (and I do mean everything) in life. So the idea of taking the path of least resistance was completely out of the question. Shouldn’t the best things in life take a ton of work? Haven’t we heard that working hard is the only way to achieve greatness?


Maybe not.


To quote Tricia Brennan again, “The act of letting go allows us to move into a state of flow – the energy stream where we are happily engaged with life, experiencing a sense of freedom.”


Opportunities present themselves to us every day. Choose the one that feels easiest to accomplish or that brings you joy or peace. Sometimes this is – literally – taking a path. If my goal is to get to an appointment on time and if I go straight to Route 13, I can see there are no cars in front of me, but if I get on Route 1, I can see many cars in front of me. So naturally, I should take Route 13. That choice may help me get to the appointment on time and provide me with the next opportunity I need to achieve my own personal goals.


On the flip side, you may wind up taking the more frustrating option, and finding out that it wasn’t worth it. A recent used car sale demonstrated for me that I should have listened to my intuition which said, “This is going to suck,” and I would have avoided a whole lot of aggravation and expense. But I kept pushing, despite obvious signs along the way that things would not work out the way I had hoped. In the end, it absolutely sucked. I lost money and had a tremendously stressful day that I’d like to forget.


Not very long ago, I had a desire for a job that would change my life for the better. I didn’t know where it would come from. I asked that it come to me with a transition that would be as easy as slipping into a warm bath. And just a few months later, it did. I received an offer that was a no-brainer, and I naturally slid into the new chapter of my career with very few bumps along the way. I was able to maintain a strong working relationship with my former employer, one that remains strong today. The transition was smoother than any I’d ever experienced, and I am living a happier, more balanced life full of opportunities to expand my skill set and make a positive difference in my community.


Our lives do have a purpose. Knowing what we want in life is the first step in realizing that purpose. After years of soul-searching, I now know my purpose is to be an advocate for myself and others.


To fight for the underdog.
To use my voice to make a difference for others that can’t.
To be the person who says the things that everyone else wishes they could.
To tackle hard problems with love, kindness, empathy, knowledge, and joy.
To build my community to be the best it can be.


I haven’t reached my full potential, but I also know I’m going to get there a lot quicker if I take the path of least resistance.


To quote Tricia Brennan again, “The act of letting go allows us to move into a state of flow – the energy stream where we are happily engaged with life, experiencing a sense of freedom.” Whether we’re artists, advocates, leaders, or healers, we feel most alive in these states of flow. We’re also attracting more good stuff to help us meet our own needs along the way. And that’s pretty awesome.


I fully intend to continue making choices that bring me joy, love, knowledge, freedom, and peace. My life is all the better for it, and I have a bright future ahead of me. I hope you will join me on this journey.


Love, Esther


Esther Hofknecht Curtis, MSM-HCA is an independent blogger based in Dover, Delaware. In her day job, she raises money for education about mental health, substance use disorders, and suicide prevention initiatives at the Mental Health Association in Delaware. She can be reached at esther@mhainde.org.


Source: https://www.triciabrennan.com/post/7-steps-to-following-the-path-of-least-resistance#:~:text=In%20truth%2C%20taking%20the%20path,flow%20of%20the%20natural%20world.

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Safely Getting To Our Destinations

My husband and I have this running joke about driving.  He asks me, "Honey, how do you go from one place to another?"  And my answer is always the same, "I get around as nature intended. In a car!"

However, today was not like every other day driving around in my car.  I was driving my daughter home from a doctor's appointment on a major highway.  We were listening to some of our favorite songs, and I was keeping up with traffic as per my usual driving patterns.  I was mindful of my speed and admittedly driving behind an orange SUV that was driving under the speed limit.  This made me very uncomfortable so I kept my distance and safely shifted lanes to pass this car.  

Then I notice it.  The State Trooper pulling onto the highway, driving up right behind me and finally putting his flashing lights on.  He pulled me over and at once I was confused.  Was I driving too close to the car in front of me?  Was the car behind me tailgating me, and he wanted to keep me safe from harm?  Yet none of these were truths as he walked beside my car window and asked for my license and registration.  I was ticketed for going exactly 5 miles per hour above the speed limit!  5. miles. per. hour. above the speed limit!

When I got home I curled up into a ball on my bed and cried myself to sleep.  I felt awful thinking that I was at fault for a seemingly safe situation.  Yet, I learned my lesson the hard way.  I will use my cruise control on the highway in the future.  This was the guidance of the police officer who pulled me over.  

When he handed me my ticket, he asked, "Where are you going?" and I simply responded, "I am taking my daughter home".  However, that begs the questions:  Aren't we always going somewhere?  And don't we always have an important destination?

I find that people drive in such a rush to get to their destination.  Two weeks ago on this same highway, there were 3 major car accidents in one day within miles of one another.  Was one car riding too close to the bumper of another car?  Were they driving too quickly because they had somewhere important to be?  

Today, I drove my daughter and I home safely.  This reminded me that, in general, we are all on our way somewhere to do something with someone in mind.  And I will respect that the rules of the road are to keep us all safe.  So tonight as I slide my feet out of my shoes and slide them into slippers, I am grateful that I got us home safely.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Approaching Anxiety With Compassion

My dog has very bad anxiety.  She pants and paces around the house during thunderstorms and fireworks.  She also follows my husband and I around in circles until the noise passes.  Her doctors prescribe anti-anxiety medications.  They only help to a certain extent by calming some of her anxious behaviors.  

Being that it has been a long summer of thunderstorms and a July full of fireworks, my dog has been very unnerved more often then not.  During the last storm, I found myself at the very end of my patience with her and said, "Valerie, you are fine.  This is no big deal!  It is just a little storm and it will pass.  You will be okay."  Her little puppy dog eyes stared at me as if in disbelief that I could be so unsympathetic of her need for calm during a storm.  

As a person who suffers from anxiety, I found myself very humbled by the comments I made to my dog.  I realized that if I placed myself in her position, I would have given myself the same blank stare that my dog gave me.  This is simply because I whole-heartedly understand what it feels like to be anxious even when my thoughts may seem irrational to others.  

For example, when I was a child I burnt myself on a cookie pan in a hot oven and to this day, ovens make me feel anxious.  If I told someone that opening an oven door unnerves me, I would expect an empathetic response.  I would hope that they would ask me why it made me feel this way, and that they would help me get the food from the hot oven where it was cooking.  

However, in the oven example, if I received a similar response to that which I gave my dog during the last thunderstorm, they would probably receive a blank stare from me.  For instance, they would say "You are fine, it is just an oven.  Put your oven mitts on and take the food out!" This would not make me feel any better.  And certainly would not make me any less anxious.  

This post is not a comparison of humans to animals but a simple analogy to remind myself of the word choices that I use with others.  Instead of telling my dog she is fine, I now reach for a soft comfortable blanket and swaddle her in my arms.  This calms her nerves and her little body shakes less while she listens to the noises that make her anxious.  

And I believe that the same may be true for humans.  When I open my oven, my husband always makes sure our daughter is not running around the kitchen and my dog is not nearby.  I always double check that I have an oven mitt on, and I retrieve the food slowly from the location that scares me.  And if I am feeling overwhelmed, my husband will take the food out of the oven for me knowing that maybe my nerves are a little out of sorts that day.  

I hope you will join me in being mindful of our word choices and actions to others who struggle with a mental illness.  As someone who battles anxiety, I try very hard to be compassionate, understanding and empathetic to others who are triggered by certain instances that make them feel very uncomfortable.  And the next time you slip on your special shoes, remind yourself how loved you are and how much love you possess for others.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.