My dog has very bad anxiety. She pants and paces around the house during thunderstorms and fireworks. She also follows my husband and I around in circles until the noise passes. Her doctors prescribe anti-anxiety medications. They only help to a certain extent by calming some of her anxious behaviors.
Being that it has been a long summer of thunderstorms and a July full of fireworks, my dog has been very unnerved more often then not. During the last storm, I found myself at the very end of my patience with her and said, "Valerie, you are fine. This is no big deal! It is just a little storm and it will pass. You will be okay." Her little puppy dog eyes stared at me as if in disbelief that I could be so unsympathetic of her need for calm during a storm.
As a person who suffers from anxiety, I found myself very humbled by the comments I made to my dog. I realized that if I placed myself in her position, I would have given myself the same blank stare that my dog gave me. This is simply because I whole-heartedly understand what it feels like to be anxious even when my thoughts may seem irrational to others.
For example, when I was a child I burnt myself on a cookie pan in a hot oven and to this day, ovens make me feel anxious. If I told someone that opening an oven door unnerves me, I would expect an empathetic response. I would hope that they would ask me why it made me feel this way, and that they would help me get the food from the hot oven where it was cooking.
However, in the oven example, if I received a similar response to that which I gave my dog during the last thunderstorm, they would probably receive a blank stare from me. For instance, they would say "You are fine, it is just an oven. Put your oven mitts on and take the food out!" This would not make me feel any better. And certainly would not make me any less anxious.
This post is not a comparison of humans to animals but a simple analogy to remind myself of the word choices that I use with others. Instead of telling my dog she is fine, I now reach for a soft comfortable blanket and swaddle her in my arms. This calms her nerves and her little body shakes less while she listens to the noises that make her anxious.
And I believe that the same may be true for humans. When I open my oven, my husband always makes sure our daughter is not running around the kitchen and my dog is not nearby. I always double check that I have an oven mitt on, and I retrieve the food slowly from the location that scares me. And if I am feeling overwhelmed, my husband will take the food out of the oven for me knowing that maybe my nerves are a little out of sorts that day.
I hope you will join me in being mindful of our word choices and actions to others who struggle with a mental illness. As someone who battles anxiety, I try very hard to be compassionate, understanding and empathetic to others who are triggered by certain instances that make them feel very uncomfortable. And the next time you slip on your special shoes, remind yourself how loved you are and how much love you possess for others.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
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