I Am Not Settling For Less

I. Am. Not. Settling. For. Less.  I am not settling for less.  I, personally, am not settling for less.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I, personally refuse to beg anyone else to choose me.  Instead, I will shine bright like a diamond until I am found.  

In one of my previous jobs, I spent a great deal of time explaining who I was and what I had to offer.  I was always justifying my worth to my colleagues and my supervisor.  I would work on projects for days making sure that every element of them was done with precision and perfection.  And while I worked very hard, I made many mistakes.  

I settled not because I became stagnant but because I let my job, my projects and my peers define my worth.  I begged others to chose me as I worked hard through failed promotions.  And I constantly lived vicariously through those people who I felt were more successful than me.  My worth was defined by my title and my income.  And this defined my status as I related to other people in my life.  

When I reflect on this, I remember that my life is mine to live.  For example, my worth is not based on the acceptance of others.  Their feelings towards my successes does not directly align with the person I have become throughout my own life's journey.  And I refuse to settle knowing full well that first and foremost, I choose me.  And I will keep shining despite how others perceive who I was and the woman I have yet to become.  

My advice to you is to be a diamond.  Be yourself and you will shine brightly.  Do not seek out validation from others but instead find your worth within your soul.  And know that while it is important to not settle, it is also pertinent to shine.  Because by being yourself, you will shine so brightly that you will be found by the people who love, care and respect you for who you are.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

You Get To Decide

You get to decide.

You are not your pain. You are not your mistakes. You are not your childhood, your heartbreaks, or the people who couldn't love you right. You are what you chose to do with all of it.

Every habit you've picked up, every fear you carry, every wall you've built, it all came from somewhere. And while it makes sense that you learned to protect yourself the way you did, it's also okay to unlearn. To question. To shift. To grow. You're allowed to rewrite the story.

Just because life handed you broken pieces doesn't mean you can't build a masterpiece. So take your pain. Take your lessons. Take all the messy, raw, unfiltered parts of your journey, and turn them into power. Into wisdom. Into purpose.

The past shaped you. But you define you. Your story isn't over. You're just getting started.

-Written by 3am thoughts

My friend recently shared this writing with me.  I felt it in my soul that so many of the words and phrases resonated with my life.  The meaning behind the written word has so much depth, and added a level of clarity to my past and my present.  And it positively affects where I am going in the future.  


It is amazing to me how much I have learned from my past.  It is the opportunity for me to reflect on what I did, and where I was at different stages of my life.  Yet, while I know I can look back, I am also aware that remaining stagnant in the past can be unhealthy.  

As I honor where I came from, I use this to mold where I am going.  I can pick up the broken pieces and choose to make them into something beautiful.  This will support everything that the future holds for me.  It is so important to look ahead at what can be so precious as it unfolds in different ways.  

I fear being stuck in the situations of my past.  And, at the same time, I want to find a balance where I chose to not look too far ahead to where I am going in the future.  And today, as I slipped my feet into my high heeled shoes, I remember all that I am and the woman I will look forward to becoming.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Stronger Than You Think

It was a Monday at 2:30pm.  I woke up with a migraine and it refused to go away.  My head was pounding and my heart was distraught.  By 2:31pm, I finally pulled myself out of bed.  And by 2:32pm, I got myself to the sink to brush my teeth and wash my face.  2:33pm brought an onset of tears that just wouldn't stop.


I have had chronic migraines since 2018, when I started a job with great levels of executive visibility and management scrutiny.  All my work was watched, reviewed and processed with a fine-tooth comb.  And with every project, a new headache would appear.  The pressure was immense and the internal workings of my brain suffered greatly.  The migraines have not subsided since that time in my life.  

I still suffer from migraines.  I average 1 migraine per week and they last anywhere from 4 hours to 3 days.  They start behind my eyes, work their way up my face and into the top of my brain, down the back of my head and into my shoulders.  I have multiple levels of neurologic medications and support for this chronic illness, yet they still show their ugly face.  

7 years of migraines is exhausting and this past Monday, I had enough of it all.  I felt weak, exhausted, in pain.  And I was desperate for health and healing.  I wanted to scream to the world yet all I could do was cry.  So that is what I did.  

Recently a friend asked me, "what is your trigger for your migraines?"  When I worked in 2018, my trigger was stress.  But right now, I am not working, so there is no reason for me to be stressed out.  Therefore, how could I possibly be suffering from migraines?  Wrong.  To be clear, whether you work or not, you can still feel multiple levels of stress.

My family is going through a huge transitional time in our lives.  And I have a court date coming up for my long-term need to be on disability.  Going to court is scary and telling my story to a judge who gets to determine my financial future is terrifying.  I have 5 doctors who, due to my mental and physical health, feel as though I am not well enough to work.  Yet, the financial disability support system has deemed me eligible to work.  Therefore, I am going to court to plead my case.  


With my head still snuggled into my towel and the tears still flowing, I said to myself, "Stop.  That is enough.  Wipe your tears.  We have a day to finish."  At 2:35pm, my face was dry and I was staring at my clock.  It was time to get changed, have a cup of coffee and push through yet another migraine.  But this time, it was different because even though it was hard, I knew I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.  


Maybe you will go through minutes that are very tough.  And sometimes it feels like it will never end and the pain will never stop.  But I remain hopeful that even through the tears, there is light in resilience.  There is strength beyond the pain.  And there is perseverance through the struggle.  And maybe, we are all stronger than we think.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.