Girl Power

My daughter turns 9 years old today.  We call her “our little miracle” because, with all my health issues, we never thought having a child would be a feasible possibility.   Yet nonetheless, angels had other plans for our lives and we gave birth to a precious baby girl at 10:05am on February 26, 2015. 

When I celebrate my daughters life, I purposefully spend more time leaning into the future and less time chatting about the past.  For this reason, I try to refrain from saying things like, "I remember when you were little" or "I miss when you were a baby".  Instead, I make sure I surround her with exciting praises about the future that is yet to come.  For instance, "I cannot wait for this next year!"  or "I am looking forward to all the things you have to offer this world!".  

I purposefully take this perspective for a few reasons.  First, I recently heard someone discussing how much bigger the front windshield is than the rear view mirror.  They went on to say that, while the past is important, the future ahead of us is huge and bright.  And for my child, I love watching her grow, and I look forward to the incredible future that lies ahead of her!  Secondly, when I was growing up, people always made it a point to say that they remembered my younger self.  And for me, I spent a lot of time wishing they would celebrate my future self and put less emphasis on my past.  

My husband and I never "baby talked" to our daughter and always treated her like the little human she is growing up to be.  I cannot wait for what the future holds for her.  I am so excited for what’s next in this amazing world and look forward to sharing in life with her, supporting her and loving on her every day through it all!

I will end with a little story:  The other day my daughter was glowing with pride after she successfully landed a tumbling pass at gymnastics. Afterwards I was singing her praises and she looked at me and said “with a little bit of girl power, you can do anything!”.  My daughter exemplifies her own motto with grace, perseverance and courage. 

This blog post is for you, baby girl.  Shine bright like a diamond, be resilient through tough times and keep being the leader that glistens inside you! 

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Move Mountains

It was a Tuesday night, December 6th of 2022.  I saw the COVID strip turn to "positive" and I initially laughed thinking it could not be possible.  But then when it sank in, I cried.  

The Thursday before, I had gone to Human Resources because I decided to report my supervisor.  As it turns out, she was not a nice person and when she was approached about her demeanor, she retaliated immediately.  There were 3 of us in the HR room that day.  And by Tuesday, all 3 of us tested positive.  

Unfortunately for me, in November of 2020, I had major robotic surgery and along with part of my pancreas, they also removed my spleen.  Therefore, I am autoimmune compromised and I did everything I could to not contract the virus.  

By Wednesday, morning I was extremely ill, by the evening we called the paramedics, and by Thursday I was in the hospital.  Malnourished and dehydrated were minor complications in comparison to the long-term effects the virus has had on my life.  The coronavirus attacked my central nervous system leaving me with a lifetime of extreme exhaustion, brain fog, depression, anxiety, and shooting pains from the base of my neck down my left arm.

For months I was too sick to point the blame at my supervisor.  But exactly 1 year later, there was a part of me that grew very angry knowing full well that if she was a compassionate boss, I would have never been at HR that day and therefore not exposed to COVID at that time.  

Relinquishing the control that the anger had over me took some time and healing.  I wrote my ex-boss a letter, shared it with my counselor and then shredded it.  I burned to ashes the wooden Christmas ornament she made for me.  And I have since walked away knowing full well that holding onto the anger is hurting no one but myself.  Therefore, I left the rage of the situation in January of 2024 and decided to not bring it into February with me.  

It is hard for me to be unemployed, still ill, approaching yet another surgery and, at the same time, still believe that everything will work out for me.  It is difficult to live day in and day out knowing full well that 1 hour changed my life forever.  But it is refreshing to remember that patience and determination are very powerful.  And that by moving slow and steady, I can still put on my high heeled shoes and move mountains.  

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

It Takes a Village

Recently, I was talking with one of my best friends and she said, "Stacy, it takes a village to get through life".  And I know my husband would agree that it has taken a village for us to get through this last year and a half.  

My dad always said, "Stacy, its not what you know but who you know" and I wholeheartedly believe he was right.  The knowledge that we gain throughout our journey in life is powerful and yet the people we surround ourselves with is empowering. 

 

Throughout my professional career, I have lost my job 3 times.  And each time it was because of my health.  It was never out of choice, but instead because my body could not mentally nor physically handle the workload while subsequently fighting the illness.  And this time around has been no exception:  I have been out of work since December of 2022.  

As we slowly depleted our bank account, we started selling our designer clothes, shoes and accessories online.  Also, my husband picked up a second job on weekends to further support our efforts to keep our house and car.  We also reached out to our "village" of friends and family for help.  We were showered with love and reminded that we are beyond blessed by the village of people that we have in our lives.  

Today I will wear my high heels not only for myself and my family but for the people in my life who matter the most, who stepped up when we needed them, and who refuse to leave our sides as we live through this difficult season.  

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Make A "Love List" Not A "To Do List"

My intentional focus this week includes prioritizing tasks with a "love list" not a "to do list".  The implications of this shift in mindset will help me remember that I get to do tasks because I am blessed to have the opportunity to do them, rather than having to do the item simply to get it done.  

A long "to do list" can make my days feel daunting.  It can bring on feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed.  The long lists can include so many items that I get lost in the shuffle of doing what needs to get done and focus less on the importance of the task.  

This is why I challenge you to change your mindset around the list of items that you have to do in your life.  Instead of making a "to do list", make a "love list".  When you change your mindset around why you are doing the tasks, you also alter your desire to do each item.  

I have an app that sends me positive messages throughout the day.  Today's message was:  "Sometimes you are so focused on the future that you don't realize you're in the middle of what you used to hope for."

When I am in the middle of a rough season in life, I have the tendency to focus on the future I am wishing for and forget how far I have come.  Friends, there is so much beauty in the importance of focusing on where we currently are in our lives.  So let us not forget that we are right where we need to be, doing the "love lists" that we are set to do.  

Today, I urge you to be amazed at how far you have come.  I hope that you find peace in the present moments, and that you look forward to your amazing future ahead of you.  Put on your high heels and do each item on your "love list", filling your days with blessings and pride!  

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Be You Bravely

How do you chose to share with others your authentic self?  Are you real with yourself and do you share who you are with others?  As I snuggle up with my favorite blanket, I ponder these questions.  And I feel like it's meaningful to recognize their importance in our lives.  

Many years ago, I bought a pillow and it simply yet powerfully, begs the words, "Be You Bravely".  Every time I look at the pillow I think about who I am as a person, and how I feel internally about the woman that I have become.  I look back on my life and reminisce about all that I have been through, and I look forward to my journey ahead.  

For as long as I can remember, I have always been career-driven because I began working as a young child.  I grew up in a family business and worked hard for every penny in my bank account.  When my friends went to the beach for "Senior Week" after we graduated high school, I went to work in a bank.  I missed the "fun" at the beach because to me, fun meant establishing a career for myself.  I worked every summer through college and I worked 3 jobs to put myself through graduate school while maintaining a 4.0 GPA. 

When I lost my job in December 2022, I struggled with the "loss" of my professional self.  I clawed through the feelings of despair, trying very hard to figure out who am I if not for my career.  I had endless conversations with my bestie about how to accept the fact that my authentic self was no longer the working woman professional that I had grown to become.  

It has offered my heart so much peace to remember who I am in this world beyond my career.  Not working has given me the opportunity to heal mentally and physically.  It has provided the space I need to grow through the pain and find a new meaning through writing.  It has offered me the ability to spend more time with our daughter and less time commuting.  And I reflect on the other parts of my authentic self including, yet not limited to, a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a blogger and oh so much more.  

Right now, I do not wear my high heel shoes to work.  Instead, I wear them every time I leave the house.  They hold a new meaning for me as I walk through the challenges life has thrown my direction.  

My hope for you is that you are able to find people in your life that love you for who you are.  And that these people will grow with you into the person you will become.  I want to end this blog with a poem that I recently read:

GROWING THROUGH IT

I hope you are learning to give yourself the credit you deserve.  I hope you are beginning to recognize just how strong you are for pulling yourself through each and every difficult time in your life.  I hope you allow this realization to walk with you, alongside any obstacles or roadblocks you might encounter along your journey.  I hope you know just how capable you are and that no matter how challenging a situation may seem, you have the courage to keep moving, to keep growing, and to keep healing.  I hope you can look in the mirror and say, 'I'm proud of you' and really mean it.  And above all, I hope you realize just how incredible you are, and just how much you deserve your own love.

Written by Charlotte Freeman

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.