Move Mountains

It was a Tuesday night, December 6th of 2022.  I saw the COVID strip turn to "positive" and I initially laughed thinking it could not be possible.  But then when it sank in, I cried.  

The Thursday before, I had gone to Human Resources because I decided to report my supervisor.  As it turns out, she was not a nice person and when she was approached about her demeanor, she retaliated immediately.  There were 3 of us in the HR room that day.  And by Tuesday, all 3 of us tested positive.  

Unfortunately for me, in November of 2020, I had major robotic surgery and along with part of my pancreas, they also removed my spleen.  Therefore, I am autoimmune compromised and I did everything I could to not contract the virus.  

By Wednesday, morning I was extremely ill, by the evening we called the paramedics, and by Thursday I was in the hospital.  Malnourished and dehydrated were minor complications in comparison to the long-term effects the virus has had on my life.  The coronavirus attacked my central nervous system leaving me with a lifetime of extreme exhaustion, brain fog, depression, anxiety, and shooting pains from the base of my neck down my left arm.

For months I was too sick to point the blame at my supervisor.  But exactly 1 year later, there was a part of me that grew very angry knowing full well that if she was a compassionate boss, I would have never been at HR that day and therefore not exposed to COVID at that time.  

Relinquishing the control that the anger had over me took some time and healing.  I wrote my ex-boss a letter, shared it with my counselor and then shredded it.  I burned to ashes the wooden Christmas ornament she made for me.  And I have since walked away knowing full well that holding onto the anger is hurting no one but myself.  Therefore, I left the rage of the situation in January of 2024 and decided to not bring it into February with me.  

It is hard for me to be unemployed, still ill, approaching yet another surgery and, at the same time, still believe that everything will work out for me.  It is difficult to live day in and day out knowing full well that 1 hour changed my life forever.  But it is refreshing to remember that patience and determination are very powerful.  And that by moving slow and steady, I can still put on my high heeled shoes and move mountains.  

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.