I am very familiar with the feelings of both worry and anxiety. And recently, I read an article that thoroughly explained the difference and similarities between the two. The article explained that while they are very different from one another, both include the brain going through "what-if" scenarios.
Growing up, a friend of mine said, "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do. But it doesn't get you anywhere". He explained that when I was worried, my brain would spiral into every single bad scenario that could happen in the future. But he always told me to focus on the present moment and let the future unravel itself.
When I worry about every single"what if" in the future, it causes my feelings of anxiety to heighten. It allows space for my brain to spiral down a path of intangible uncertainty. And creates a lot of space for future concern while I try to live in the present moment.
The problem for me is that I feel a never-ending desire to control everything. I want to make sure that my entire life unfolds according to the way in which I feel is best for myself and my family. And by thinking through every future possibility, I tell myself that this will help me wrap my arms around every single present moment in life.
Admittedly, my desire to control everything is comforting. I allow myself to talk through all the future possibilities in order to fully prepare myself for anything that could transpire. This way of processing the potential outcomes allows me to feel like I have a grasp on how life will turn out. And this makes me feel less out of control knowing that I have tried to process what is yet to be.
However, I know deep down that this approach is unhealthy. I am fully aware that the future is unknown, and I fear what is yet to come since my past has been such a rollercoaster ride. However, trying to process every single good and bad part of the future does not allow much room for solace in the present moments.
My husband always says that he does not have to worry because I worry enough for both of us. And he is right because I worry about everything. Except more recently than not, I have been trying very hard to work on this, and take a vastly different approach to how I choose to live my life.
For instance, when my mind tries to say, "what if", I remind myself of "what is" instead. I tell myself to focus on what is here and what is real in this very moment. I work through the feelings of control by allowing myself the space to remember everything that is within reach. And by grounding my mind in what is transpiring now, I am less likely to drag myself through the murky unknown of the future.
My truth is that my future will happen whether I try to control it or not. Every day I make choices that guide the way in which my life will unfold. And I try desperately to not wallow in what will be and rather, enjoy what is here and now.
The universe unfolds in different ways for everyone. But today, I hope you will slide your feet into your high heels and simply put one foot in front of the other. Every single step takes us both towards and through each future moment. And this is how our lives unravel into a beautiful unique story.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
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