Don't Ask Permission To Fly

 

I have discovered more recently than not, I am paranoid about other people's perceptions of my intentions.  When I make a decision, it always feels like I have to justify my reasoning.  Day to day, it is very hard to process these feelings.  Due to my mental health and negative self-talk, I lack confidence, self esteem, and self-awareness.  My brain tells me that I should not make a simple choice.  Instead, it tells me to question my thoughts and motives.  


I usually feel compelled to explain to others the purpose behind my positive intentions.  Yet, I get mad at myself for letting my brain talk me in and out of a circle of justification for a simple decision in a given situation.  Is it helpful to have an explanation?  Sure.  But is it necessary to give a detailed analysis of my mental processes?  No, not always.  Therefore, I have to regularly remind myself that I do not need to explain my rationale that supports my choices.  My intentions are always pure and my reasons are genuine, real, and important.  


Recently, my friend told me that I should be more confident and less concerned with the opinions of others.  She said that my thoughts are relative to what I assume other people might be thinking.  So she gave me an analogy to put this into perspective:  

"If we were all birds, we would not ask permission to fly.  Instead, we would simply use our wings.  We would know full well that the sky belonged to no one in particular.  So therefore, we could just simply fly".  

This was a powerful reminder that I do not have to ask any other bird for permission to fly.  My wings belong to me and the sky is open to all of us when we are ready to take flight.  So, I will use my wings without feeling compelled to ask anyone else their thoughts on how, when and where I am flying.  

I know that this little bird is a work-in-progress.  It will take time for me to grow confident in myself, and even more time to be less worried about how others perceive me.  But, I am grateful for the sky that opens its beauty for all of us to take flight.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.