Celebrate Your Strength and Resilience

 

I have a pink infinity symbol tattooed on my right arm with the words "perseverance, resilient, strength".  I got this tattoo about a year ago while dealing with multiple physical and mental health issues.  I was tired of being poked and prodded by doctors and decided I wanted to make a conscious decision to get a tattoo representing all of the challenges I had endured.  


Four years ago, during one of my very dark mental health episodes, my daughter found me in a puddle of tears, in a ball on the floor, on the phone with my mom.  I was in the middle of telling my mom, "I am not okay.  I think there is something wrong with me" when I heard the closet door open and my daughter screamed for my husband.  My husband came running to the closet, scooped me into his arms and put me on our bed.  We called my counselor who sent me immediately to the Emergency Department where I was psychologically evaluated.


At the time, my child was 5 years old.  This was a traumatic situation for all 4 of us (my daughter, my husband, my mother and I).  And it was certainly a circumstance that no 5 year old child should ever have to witness.  


The lurking guilt of my child finding me in one of my worst mental health states has haunted me for years.  And recently, I was ready to process this trauma with my counselor.  It was then that my counselor and I agreed to honor that very moment in time.  We discussed that the events which took place that day have translated into two very hard yet important lessons for my daughter.  First, it offered a platform for my child to understand that Mommy has a mental illness.  And second, it certainly showed that my daughters level of resilience is very high.


13 years ago, I was blessed with one of the most highly regarded psychiatrists in our State as well as an amazing counselor.  They have been a pivotal part of my healing and recovery over the years.  I see my psychiatrist every 3 months, which fluctuates to every 30 days depending upon the necessity of my mental health status.  I also see my counselor like clockwork every 2 weeks, and I am able to securely send her text messages in between visits.  


I will conclude this blog post with a discussion about resilience.  And I hope you know how the ebbs and flows of life help you to be resilient as well.  


They asked her,
"How do you get through tough moments?"

She answered,
"Do not trust the way you see yourself when your mind is turbulent and remember that even pain is temporary. Honor your boundaries, treat yourself gently, let go of perfection, and feel your emotions without letting them control you. You have enough experience to face the storm and evolve from it."

-Young Pueblo on Resilience

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.