It Still Hurts, Part 2

I was recently asked, "When do you plan on going back to work?"  To which I replied, “My health reminds me that unfortunately I am not ready yet”.  Because, the truth is, it still hurts.  I am both mentally and physically still struggling with my health.  


In 2012, I was formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.  I was initially told I had Major Depression, but manic episodes quickly changed the diagnosis.  Living my life with a combination of mania and depression has been extremely challenging.  Psychological stabilization has included multiple hospitalizations and numerous medication changes.  While I have survived some of the darkest days of my life, this is not the only health battle that I face.   

Since 2018, I have suffered from Chronic Migraines.  Every 3 months I undergo botox treatments, and I give myself a maintenance injection every 30 days.  And finally, at the onset of a migraine that starts quickly and suddenly, I take a medication.  This is because I can feel the excruciating pain behind my eyes moving into my head.  They are disruptive and debilitating.  

To further explain the current state of my health, I have lived with the effects of Long Covid since December of 2022.  A team of medical experts monitor and support me at a local Long Covid Clinic.  The main symptoms I now live with include chronic fatigue, anxiety and brain fog.  

So, am I working again?  No.  Due to multiple illnesses being addressed at once, I spend a large portion of my daily life going to various doctors appointments.  And when time allows, I take long naps because having chronic fatigue can make it unbearable to function without one.  

The support from my doctors helps to keep me stable.  And at the same time, I also practice various forms of self-care to support my healthcare journey.  For example, I make it a point to drink a lot of water and eat healthy foods.  I love to do paint-by-numbers, I read books and articles, and I take time to do as much physical activity as my health allows.  

However, It. All. Still Hurts.  Yet, I choose to not live my life with the pain defining the woman that I have become.  Instead, I push forward through every challenge that presents itself.  And when I am well enough, I slide my feet into my high heels and do the best I can with every day that I am blessed to have.

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.