"Constructive" Criticism

When you feel someone is criticizing you, I hope you will remember that you are a diamond and no one can break you.  

If there’s one thing I have learned about myself, it is that I do not like to be criticized.  People like to call it “constructive criticism”.  To me, this means being critiqued by someone who does or does not like the way you did a certain task.  However in my experience, it is rarely constructive and more nitpicking everything I did not do.

For me, I am not scared nor do I fear confrontation.  In fact, I love conversing with people and being heard.  I have a deep appreciation for a collaborative discussion in a space that is safely created by individuals who care about the opinions of one another.  However, this is not always the case and when the discussion is a part of certain environments, there can be negative connotations. 


When I was working, I rarely felt concerned when I had an upcoming meeting with an encouraging supervisor.  This is because I was confident the discussion would go smoothly.  And even if I had done something wrong, it would be a safe place to discuss next steps to rectifying the situation.  However, I have had two supervisors who were not nearly as kind in their words.  And they always criticized all the hard work I was doing in a negative way.  And no matter how hard I tried, my work was never up to their standards to receive a compliment.

On the other hand, I have an "online closet" where I sell clothes, shoes and jewelry.  And, as the seller, I get reviewed by buyers.  The highest rating is 5 stars and I always aim for this with each sale.  While I know I did my very best to make sure the sale was perfect, I still feel uneasy waiting to be rated.  This is because the buyer has the ability to provide feedback as to why they chose to not give you 5 stars.  And waiting for a review and the potential criticism makes me extremely uncomfortable.


Are you open to receiving constructive criticism?  Perhaps I avoid it because I truly never know if it is going to be “constructive”.  It gives me anxiety when I am not clear if I will be negatively affected by my hard work (whether in an office setting or online).  Or rather, if I’ll learn something from it and be more well-equipped to make a positive change.  Personally, I would rather wear high heels and have a collaborative conversation with someone who cares about me.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.