When Sobriety Becomes A Necessity

Truth be told, I struggle with my relationship with alcohol.  I like the flavor and I enjoy the feeling of a buzz, but I realized that I have little control over the next steps.  I know I should stop drinking after I consume 1 or maybe 2 drinks.  Yet, I also know that once I begin, my will power to stop is limited.


The last time I drank, I did not realize the percentage of alcohol by volume until after the second drink.  And by the time I read the label, I knew it was too late.  I proceeded to let the alcohol take its course, turning me into an angry unhealthy version of myself.  The following day I knew I had to make a change and it started with ending my relationship with alcoholic beverages.

Having bipolar disorder means I am on high doses of mental health medications.  The warning labels all come equipped with “do not drink alcohol with this medicine”.  I read the labels, take note of the side effects and think, “it is only 1 drink so it will be okay”.  But when 1 drink leads to the next, I have to self-reflect on the desire to drink versus my unpleasant disposition that comes with that decision.


I made a choice to take some heavy-hearted steps towards gaining control over my desire to drink adult beverages.  I am surrounding myself with friends who also have a desire to stop drinking.  And I have found peace in knowing that this is in my best interest.


It feels daunting to think that I wish to never take a sip of an alcoholic beverage ever again.  However, I also know that I have an unending desire to change my future and so for now, I am taking one day at a time.  I am currently focusing on drinking water, lemonade, iced tea or soda.  And of course I love coffee so there’s that non-alcoholic drink of choice too!

I love who I am so I continue to wear my high heels all the time.  This is because I am still "me" as I work through my wellness journey.  And I am thankful for the support I have from friends and family through this time in my life.  

I ask you a simple question:  What will tomorrow bring for you and what changes will you make in order to learn from your past and make a conscious decision to have a different future?  For me, I am ready for a brighter sober future, and maybe for you it is something else.  But either way, I am cheering you on with love and respect.  Just remember to take one day, and sometimes one minute, at a time.

Love Note:  With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.