Every time I think I am starting to do really well, I feel like life slaps me in the face. I know that having health issues comes with ups and downs, and it seems that the highs are very bright and the lows are very dark. This is bipolar disorder and this is my reality.
While I was in the hospital, I was roughly 3 hours away from getting discharged. My in-patient psychiatrist and I spoke with my husband to make sure I would be safe when I arrived at home. We discussed all of my discharge needs as the staff prepared me to leave the hospital.
Before I left, I looked at my healthcare team and I said:
"Thank you. Thank you for everything. I appreciate all your help, support and guidance. And I am so grateful to be stable and well enough to go home".
The psychiatrist looked at me with a gentle smile and said:
"While I appreciate and will gladly take the compliment, I want you to also be proud of yourself. Because you did all the hard work. We can guide you but you have to put in the effort. And you did. We are confident as we prepare to send you home".
This was a reminder to me that being honest with my husband and telling him, "I am not okay. I need help" was brave. This is a reminder to me that putting in the work to get stable is also brave. And finally, this is a reminder to me that even when my brain becomes dark, my confidence in my ability to heal is very brave.
I believe that we will all face very hard times in life. Some of these times may be very difficult. But having the courage to ask for help and being able to conquer the darkness is something to be very proud of. And as I slide my feet in my high heels, I am reminded of how brave I truly am.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
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