A year ago, we changed my bipolar medications. A year ago, the medication changes made my mental health worse. A year ago, darkness fell upon me. A year ago, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital.
Reflecting back on the past is hard sometimes because it can bring up trauma. It can remind me of pain and struggling. And it can bring back emotions that I keep deep down inside.
However, reflecting on the past can also encourage me to remember the positives as well. It reminds me of never-ending hope and unconditional self-love. And, looking back is a good way for me to remember how strong I really am through every aspect of my life.
There is a very powerful mental health grammatical metaphor that goes like this, "An author uses a semicolon when they could have ended a sentence with a period, but chose to keep writing. In life, it means that your story is not over yet".
Maybe my story is a reminder that I am what happens when the impossible keeps going. When life told me to stop, I decided to add a "semicolon" to my story instead of a "period" to my life. And because of that pause, I was able to seek professional help when I needed it the most.
It is hard sometimes. It is hard to wear shoes, especially ones that have heels. This is because the shoes symbolize confidence, self-love and pride. And they remind me to be encouraged when my brain tells me I am not worthy. And sometimes, it is hard to see the positive when the negative lingers around me.
But, I know that my story could have been impossible. Because it might have turned out much different than the path I chose to take. Yet when I look into the mirror, I see a woman who kept going through the darkness. And I am proud to be a witness to what the impossible looks like when she keeps moving forward.
Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.
