Last Monday at 11:55pm, I laid in bed with bad thoughts
racing through my mind. I told myself I
would wait until midnight to wake up my husband before taking myself to the
Emergency Department for help and safety.
I could not wait any longer so at 11:57pm, I woke him up. I said, “I need you to wake up because I am 3
minutes away from taking myself to get professional help at the hospital”. So with that, he rolled over and turned the
light on.
We talked until 3am at which point, we turned the lights off
and both tried to get a little bit of sleep.
The next day we both dragged ourselves to work knowing full well that it
was going to be a very long day. But we
both did it because we would rather be at work than at a hospital.
I would be lying to you if I told you this was the first
time this happened. But I can tell you
that I am still here to write about it today because of the people in my life
who have gotten me through the worst times.
So who is my Support Squad you may ask?
It is the different people that the universe puts into my life to help
me get through each episode.
So for me, it is first and foremost my husband. When I tell you we have been to hell and back,
I mean it.
It is also my mom who drove 85 mph in a 25mph zone just to
make sure she could get home in time so I didn’t take the pills I had in my
hand.
It is my friend who walked with me for miles around my
development just to better understand what it meant for me to have Bipolar
Disorder.
It is my brother who lived with me for a month when I could
not get myself out of bed every day.
It is my therapist who sees me every other week… for 9 years
now.
It is my psychiatrist who listens to my stories and
prescribes me the right cocktail of medicine to help me battle this horrible
illness.
It is the doctors and nurses at the hospitals I have been to
for weekly stays (much to my dismay) who have given me hope to go back home and
try all over again to live with this illness.
It is my girlfriend who said, “Stacy, here is the blog
platform…now write. Share your story.”
My list of people in my Support Squad goes on and on. Does yours?
At about 11:50am on the evening I mentioned above, my brain
was deep in a dark hole and suddenly, one may say out of nowhere, I caught a
glimpse of my daughter’s high school graduation. I saw her walking across that stage to get
her diploma and looking at me in the audience and smiling. And this is why I did not wait until midnight
to wake up my husband. I knew if I
waited, I may not see that special moment in my daughter’s life, say 12 years
from now.
Having the right people in your corner is vital to getting
through the worst of life’s battles. And
for me, it is everything. Who are you
blessed with in your world? I pray today
that the universe gives you people along your path of life who are your very
own Support Squad.
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