Healthy Boundaries

It has taken me a very long time to realize how important it is to set healthy boundaries.  Moreover, I have learned that I do not owe the other person an explanation of the boundaries which I have chosen to set in place.  And finally, implementing my decision to set boundaries has lifted multiple layers of unhealthy feelings that I have kept deep inside.  

I recently read a short story where a wise fox said to a little bird:  

"Observe, don't absorb.  Because a person's behavior is a mirror of their inner world.  It's about them, not you.  Protect your inner environment like sacred ground.  Observe the behavior.  Learn from it.  But don't absorb it."  

The fox reminded me that I do not need permission to protect my inner self from the environment of another person.  Pursuing a life with healthy boundaries means that I choose to observe the behavior of someone.  However, I do not have to absorb their thoughts and actions.  Because boundaries are for me, not for them.  

The hard truth is that the less I distance myself from an unhealthy relationship, the more absorbed I am into their world.  This leads me to care deeply about their feelings as it relates to me trying to set a boundary.  Yet, this poses a problem because I now feel obligated to care about the other person rather than genuinely loving them.  This makes me feel resentful towards them and unhappy with myself.  

Saying "no" or walking away creates a barrier towards other people in order to protect my mind, body and soul.  It allows me to stop being constantly available to others and be more present for myself.  It helps me be more fulfilled on a deeper level.  I find inner peace and less outer turmoil.  

In order to support a healthier version of myself, I have learned to look inward at the desires of my heart.  And the most genuine version of me, unapologetically sets healthy boundaries with others who try to steal my happiness.  Therefore, I refuse to let a negative person access my positive energy.

Vishakha Jain wrote:

They say, "She changed."  Well... yeah.  She stopped saying yes when she meant no.  Stopped shrinking just to be liked.  Stopped fixing what she didn't break.  She's softer now-but with boundaries.  Kinder- but unavailable to drama.  She didn't change.  She woke up.   

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.