The Life I Have Chosen To Create

 

Twenty years ago, my husband and I started dating.  In the midst of our celebration, I was asked, "If you could do it all over again, would you go back twenty years and still choose the same path?  Would you still spend twenty years with this same person?"  While I was certainly taken aback by the blunt questions, my response came without hesitation, "I would change nothing about my decision to date him.  The life we have created together is an honor.  And I am so glad that I get to live it with him by my side".  

If there is one thing that I know about myself, it is that I do not settle.  I have always been a strong-willed, independent person.  From a young age, I took the initiative to learn new things about life.  For any unanswered questions that lingered in my mind, I sought out the answers on my own.  I was never afraid to be myself even through adversity during my days at school.  And I grew up in a supportive family that gave me the freedom to discover life on my own terms. 

Have I been through a lot of unpleasant circumstances throughout my life?  Yes, of course.  But challenges never stopped me from pushing forward and unfolding the life I have chosen to create.  For me, difficulties provide experiences that cause me to persevere even more.  

I have had to push the "restart" button more than once in my life.  I have needed to pause, take a deep breath and reconvene with myself.  More times than I can remember, life has thrown me obstacles that have made me change the course of my desired outcomes.  And yet, I have refused to settle for a life I do not want.  

For me, I am grateful.  I have a husband who loves me fiercely, honestly and genuinely.  I have a daughter who exemplifies strength and resilience.  And I live a life that I was brave enough to create.  

So, to the person who questioned my decisions that I made twenty years ago, I say to you, "While I have had to hit the restart button more than once in my life, I will always be grateful for the one man who has stayed by my side through it all.  Also, I would never want to change the people in my life who have weaved their stories into my own.  And while situations in life may offer me sneakers, I will always choose to slide my feet into my high heels." 

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

I Am Not Settling For Less

I. Am. Not. Settling. For. Less.  I am not settling for less.  I, personally, am not settling for less.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I, personally refuse to beg anyone else to choose me.  Instead, I will shine bright like a diamond until I am found.  

In one of my previous jobs, I spent a great deal of time explaining who I was and what I had to offer.  I was always justifying my worth to my colleagues and my supervisor.  I would work on projects for days making sure that every element of them was done with precision and perfection.  And while I worked very hard, I made many mistakes.  

I settled not because I became stagnant but because I let my job, my projects and my peers define my worth.  I begged others to chose me as I worked hard through failed promotions.  And I constantly lived vicariously through those people who I felt were more successful than me.  My worth was defined by my title and my income.  And this defined my status as I related to other people in my life.  

When I reflect on this, I remember that my life is mine to live.  For example, my worth is not based on the acceptance of others.  Their feelings towards my successes does not directly align with the person I have become throughout my own life's journey.  And I refuse to settle knowing full well that first and foremost, I choose me.  And I will keep shining despite how others perceive who I was and the woman I have yet to become.  

My advice to you is to be a diamond.  Be yourself and you will shine brightly.  Do not seek out validation from others but instead find your worth within your soul.  And know that while it is important to not settle, it is also pertinent to shine.  Because by being yourself, you will shine so brightly that you will be found by the people who love, care and respect you for who you are.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.