Worrying Is Like A Rocking Chair...

 

I am very familiar with the feelings of both worry and anxiety.  And recently, I read an article that thoroughly explained the difference and similarities between the two.  The article explained that while they are very different from one another, both include the brain going through "what-if" scenarios. 

Growing up, a friend of mine said, "Worry is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do.  But it doesn't get you anywhere".  He explained that when I was worried, my brain would spiral into every single bad scenario that could happen in the future.  But he always told me to focus on the present moment and let the future unravel itself. 

When I worry about every single"what if" in the future, it causes my feelings of anxiety to heighten.  It allows space for my brain to spiral down a path of intangible uncertainty.  And creates a lot of space for future concern while I try to live in the present moment.  

The problem for me is that I feel a never-ending desire to control everything.  I want to make sure that my entire life unfolds according to the way in which I feel is best for myself and my family.  And by thinking through every future possibility, I tell myself that this will help me wrap my arms around every single present moment in life.  

Admittedly, my desire to control everything is comforting.  I allow myself to talk through all the future possibilities in order to fully prepare myself for anything that could transpire.  This way of processing the potential outcomes allows me to feel like I have a grasp on how life will turn out.  And this makes me feel less out of control knowing that I have tried to process what is yet to be.  

However, I know deep down that this approach is unhealthy.  I am fully aware that the future is unknown, and I fear what is yet to come since my past has been such a rollercoaster ride.  However, trying to process every single good and bad part of the future does not allow much room for solace in the present moments.  

My husband always says that he does not have to worry because I worry enough for both of us.  And he is right because I worry about everything.  Except more recently than not, I have been trying very hard to work on this, and take a vastly different approach to how I choose to live my life.  

For instance, when my mind tries to say, "what if", I remind myself of "what is" instead.  I tell myself to focus on what is here and what is real in this very moment.  I work through the feelings of control by allowing myself the space to remember everything that is within reach.  And by grounding my mind in what is transpiring now, I am less likely to drag myself through the murky unknown of the future. 

My truth is that my future will happen whether I try to control it or not.  Every day I make choices that guide the way in which my life will unfold.  And I try desperately to not wallow in what will be and rather, enjoy what is here and now.  

The universe unfolds in different ways for everyone.  But today, I hope you will slide your feet into your high heels and simply put one foot in front of the other.  Every single step takes us both towards and through each future moment.  And this is how our lives unravel into a beautiful unique story.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Don't Ask Permission To Fly

 

I have discovered more recently than not, I am paranoid about other people's perceptions of my intentions.  When I make a decision, it always feels like I have to justify my reasoning.  Day to day, it is very hard to process these feelings.  Due to my mental health and negative self-talk, I lack confidence, self esteem, and self-awareness.  My brain tells me that I should not make a simple choice.  Instead, it tells me to question my thoughts and motives.  


I usually feel compelled to explain to others the purpose behind my positive intentions.  Yet, I get mad at myself for letting my brain talk me in and out of a circle of justification for a simple decision in a given situation.  Is it helpful to have an explanation?  Sure.  But is it necessary to give a detailed analysis of my mental processes?  No, not always.  Therefore, I have to regularly remind myself that I do not need to explain my rationale that supports my choices.  My intentions are always pure and my reasons are genuine, real, and important.  


Recently, my friend told me that I should be more confident and less concerned with the opinions of others.  She said that my thoughts are relative to what I assume other people might be thinking.  So she gave me an analogy to put this into perspective:  

"If we were all birds, we would not ask permission to fly.  Instead, we would simply use our wings.  We would know full well that the sky belonged to no one in particular.  So therefore, we could just simply fly".  

This was a powerful reminder that I do not have to ask any other bird for permission to fly.  My wings belong to me and the sky is open to all of us when we are ready to take flight.  So, I will use my wings without feeling compelled to ask anyone else their thoughts on how, when and where I am flying.  

I know that this little bird is a work-in-progress.  It will take time for me to grow confident in myself, and even more time to be less worried about how others perceive me.  But, I am grateful for the sky that opens its beauty for all of us to take flight.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Healthy Boundaries

It has taken me a very long time to realize how important it is to set healthy boundaries.  Moreover, I have learned that I do not owe the other person an explanation of the boundaries which I have chosen to set in place.  And finally, implementing my decision to set boundaries has lifted multiple layers of unhealthy feelings that I have kept deep inside.  

I recently read a short story where a wise fox said to a little bird:  

"Observe, don't absorb.  Because a person's behavior is a mirror of their inner world.  It's about them, not you.  Protect your inner environment like sacred ground.  Observe the behavior.  Learn from it.  But don't absorb it."  

The fox reminded me that I do not need permission to protect my inner self from the environment of another person.  Pursuing a life with healthy boundaries means that I choose to observe the behavior of someone.  However, I do not have to absorb their thoughts and actions.  Because boundaries are for me, not for them.  

The hard truth is that the less I distance myself from an unhealthy relationship, the more absorbed I am into their world.  This leads me to care deeply about their feelings as it relates to me trying to set a boundary.  Yet, this poses a problem because I now feel obligated to care about the other person rather than genuinely loving them.  This makes me feel resentful towards them and unhappy with myself.  

Saying "no" or walking away creates a barrier towards other people in order to protect my mind, body and soul.  It allows me to stop being constantly available to others and be more present for myself.  It helps me be more fulfilled on a deeper level.  I find inner peace and less outer turmoil.  

In order to support a healthier version of myself, I have learned to look inward at the desires of my heart.  And the most genuine version of me, unapologetically sets healthy boundaries with others who try to steal my happiness.  Therefore, I refuse to let a negative person access my positive energy.

Vishakha Jain wrote:

They say, "She changed."  Well... yeah.  She stopped saying yes when she meant no.  Stopped shrinking just to be liked.  Stopped fixing what she didn't break.  She's softer now-but with boundaries.  Kinder- but unavailable to drama.  She didn't change.  She woke up.   

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Self-Isolation

 

It is not easy to have a mental illness when the bipolar and anxiety tell me to self-isolate.  Maybe that is called self-preservation.  Yet, talking about this makes me feel like I am losing a battle to my brain.  I also know that sometimes it is okay to not be okay.  And it is important to find a safe space to be alone.  

When my brain tells me to be alone, I always try to make sure I am with one "safe" person.  I might be in my bedroom by myself, but I am not in my home alone.  There is a loved one in the house with me even if they are not in the same room as me.  If I absolutely have to be alone, I have a "favorites" list of people on my phone who are close family and friends that I can immediately call if I am starting to feel less-than-okay.  

When I am ready to go out of the house, I find myself trying to find safe places and joyful people to be around.  I might go to lunch with my family, or meet my best friend at the library.  These are my people.  They love me for who I am, and they surround me with their unconditional support.

During times of despair, being alone feels sad and dark.  But when I am not okay, most of the time I find solace in my bed, and I take a nap.  This provides the extra sleep that my mind and body need in order to heal.  

A few days ago, I was in bed all morning while my husband worked from home.  I dragged myself out of bed to walk my dog around the block.  I thought, why not put on a pair of 2 inch heels to walk the dog?  I did this to remind myself that my morning was rough, but my evening was going to be better.  When I got home, ironically I had the biggest blister on my pinky toe!  Welp, I tried.  And sometimes, we still get blisters in our special shoes even with the best of intentions.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Conquering The Darkness

 

Every time I think I am starting to do really well, I feel like life slaps me in the face.  I know that having health issues comes with ups and downs, and it seems that the highs are very bright and the lows are very dark.  This is bipolar disorder and this is my reality.  

While I was in the hospital, I was roughly 3 hours away from getting discharged.  My in-patient psychiatrist and I spoke with my husband to make sure I would be safe when I arrived at home.  We discussed all of my discharge needs as the staff prepared me to leave the hospital.  

Before I left, I looked at my healthcare team and I said:

"Thank you.  Thank you for everything.  I appreciate all your help, support and guidance.  And I am so grateful to be stable and well enough to go home".  

The psychiatrist looked at me with a gentle smile and said:

"While I appreciate and will gladly take the compliment, I want you to also be proud of yourself.  Because you did all the hard work.  We can guide you but you have to put in the effort.  And you did.  We are confident as we prepare to send you home".  

This was a reminder to me that being honest with my husband and telling him, "I am not okay.  I need help" was brave.  This is a reminder to me that putting in the work to get stable is also brave.  And finally, this is a reminder to me that even when my brain becomes dark, my confidence in my ability to heal is very brave.  

I believe that we will all face very hard times in life.  Some of these times may be very difficult.  But having the courage to ask for help and being able to conquer the darkness is something to be very proud of.  And as I slide my feet in my high heels, I am reminded of how brave I truly am.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

My Healing Journey Because I Refuse To Quit

 

Healing, I have decided, is a journey.  It is not a race.  Rather, it is baby steps in order to get from one moment to the next.  And these moments add up to a successful path towards mending my broken soul.  

When I see my grandmother, she welcomes me with a big hug.  At which point in time, she pulls back and looks me in the eyes.  She questions, "How are you doing?"  And I quietly answer, "I am fine".  She continues, "I know you are fine.  But tell me how you are really doing".  I state, "Grandma, I am struggling but I am trying desperately to heal".  After another hug, she looks at me again and goes, "You are an important woman.  We need you.  Take care of yourself".


Grandma's way of finding out how I am really feeling is beyond the superficial.  It digs deep into my heart and reminds me that I can be honest with her.  She loves me unconditionally and does not judge where I am in my life.  Instead, she encourages me to keep going beyond my momentary struggles, and look at the greater picture of taking care of myself.


Right now, healing to me is simply one moment at a time.  And when my brain tells me negative thoughts, I think about them for a moment without dwelling them.  Instead, I have found simple ways of healing as I refuse to quit during this long road to recovery.  


Recently, I have grown fond of doing puzzles.  I like to focus on the shapes and colors as I slowly and gradually put together each piece.  Finding its rightful place in the 750 or 1,000 piece puzzle helps me see the bigger picture.  And the end result of finishing it is very satisfying.  


I make time to rest and take naps.  Some days, I feel strong enough to walk around my neighborhood for about 15-20 minutes.  I also like to read books.  Sometimes, I have to re-read paragraphs in order to process the words on the page to make sense of the story.  However, these are all small steps in my journey towards recovery.  


And once in a while, I take a deep breath and I slide my feet into my high heel shoes.  Even if I am simply going to the grocery store, I feel a sense of comfort and confidence in my heels.  Before getting into the car, I look up at the sky, and I take in a deep breath of fresh air.  And with each step, I will continue to move forward.  This reminds me that I am growing stronger each day and that I refuse to quit as I continue my journey of healing.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Hospitalized To Become Stable Again

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote.  Truth be told, I have been really sick.  My psychiatrist and I needed to change my medications because my anxiety was worsening.  However, negative side effects of the new medications far outweighed the ability for the medication to help me.  Therefore, we needed to stop them immediately.  

Unfortunately, there became a huge chemical imbalance in my brain which lead to serious physical ramifications.  For more than 2 weeks, I lived with anxiety attacks that lasted anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours.  During which, I experienced severe heart palpitations that made it hard to catch my breath.  Included in this nightmare was non-stop extreme nausea, sleep deprivation and exhaustion.  Due to all the physical symptoms, the depression heightened and the tears felt like they would never end.  

The depression turned into unmanageable dark thoughts and after 2 Emergency Department visits, I was hospitalized.  It took 8 days to stabilize me such that I could be sent home.  In the hospital, they adjusted my medications which began my very slow road to recovery.  

In the hospital, I wrote a poem:

Floor 7 North
I am not alone.
The other patients have become my friends.
We heal together.
We talk in group sessions.

We walk the halls to remain active.  
We share our stories.
We have nurses and doctors.
All the staff takes care of us.
Sometimes we listen to music.
We are the psychiatric unit.
To those we love, we are family members and friends.  

We are sick but we are people, too.  
Our illnesses do not define us.

I spent 8 days in 7 North.  I got help.  I started healing.  I went home with hope.  I remain resilient and encouraged.


Outside of the hospital I have felt dazed and confused.  I feel lightheaded.  I still cry a lot.  However, the doctor said it would take 2-3 weeks for the medications to take full effect.  I am glad to be alive, stable and home.

Today, I went to the grocery store.  I wore my high heels.  I felt pretty and confident.  I am reminded that I persevere through hard times.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Self-Love

 

Self-love is a hard topic for me.  I struggle a lot with accepting where I am in my life.  Yet, in the midst of the chaos, there is a small twinkle of hope.  And that little light keeps me going forward.  

I have been struggling recently with living one moment at a time.  My thoughts are so far into the future that it overwhelms me.  I feel lost in the middle of a tornado of emotions, which leads me to never-ending anxiety.  Therefore, I tend to take simple things for granted and I forget to be grateful.  

Recently, one of my family members fractured their elbow.  It took her out of every sport that she loved, ended summer swimming with her friends, and stopped her from doing simple chores around the house.  She went from a high-functioning athlete to now needing help opening the toothpaste bottle to brush her teeth.  In the blink of an eye, her life flipped upside down.  

Not only did her physical health change but her mental health changed, too.  After lots of hugs and a "get well soon" balloon, we sat down and talked.  She looked me in the eyes and said, "I took my arm for granted.  I forgot how important it is to be grateful to be able to use every single part of my body.  Now that I can't, I am reminded that life can change very suddenly". 

Her wise words reminded me that I need to focus on one moment at a time.  Looking into the future can be daunting because I do not know what lies ahead.  I cannot control the moments that have yet to take place.  

It is so important to remember that every tiny moment in the present matters.  I can let anxiety, fear, panic and worry surround me.  Or, I can re-wire my brain to live with self-love and be patient with the person I am becoming.  

So today, as I slide my feet into my high heel shoes, I will remind myself to be grateful.  When I feel overwhelmed, I will remember to love myself.  And when in doubt, I will look for that little twinkle of hope to get me through the day.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Becoming A Butterfly

 

I love butterflies.  And I am always touched by the gentle reminder that a butterfly was once a caterpillar.  The process and journey of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly is so beautiful to me.


Earlier today I was reflecting on the term and concept of "to become" or "becoming".  To me, in order to try to become an evolved version of myself means that I have to therefore accept where I am in the present.  And by accepting where I am, I allow space for myself to see where I can potentially be in the future.  I feel like this is a beautiful theory, yet my reflection on this made me stumble upon a recent example in my own life.  


In 2020, during the beginning of the pandemic, I set a goal to run a 5k, which is roughly 3.11 miles.  I even went as far as to buy a "virtual race kit" to accomplish this goal.  Upon completion of running the 5k, I was supposed to post pictures on the race website and earn a medal that was mailed to me.  So, I started training for the run.


My grandfather used to say, "If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all" and he was right.  About 6 months into training, I ran my way into a back injury.  This paused my training and took the excitement out of the idea.  One year later, I contracted COVID for the first time and became extremely ill.  And then after two major surgeries and getting COVID for the second time, I finally began a journey to becoming physically healthy again.  Yet, approximately 5 years later, I had yet to accomplish my goal.


3 months ago, I looked at my husband with tears rolling down my face.  I told him that all I wanted to do was run this 5k before my birthday.  We discussed my physical health, including my limited lung capacity, and my psychological health of the constantly lingering depression. These health issues were keeping me from accomplishing my goal that I wanted so badly to pursue.


Knowing that I wanted to become a stronger version of myself, my husband helped me map out a way to obtain my goal of running a 5k before the end of July 2025.  And so, my journey began.  I started off as a little caterpillar.  I walked half a mile a day for weeks.  And I slowly added a little jogging into my routine.  My walking turned into jogging and my jogging turned into running.  My lungs, legs and arms grew stronger and my mental health was also reaping the benefits of body movement for 45minutes a day 3 to 4 days a week.


This past Sunday, I ran my very first 5k.  I took my time, I paced myself, and I did a lot of positive self talk.  In that moment, I felt like I finally became a butterfly.  When my daughter presented me with my medal, it felt like 5 years of accomplishment hanging around my neck.   


So much of me felt stagnant for years.  But when I was finally healthy enough to think about becoming a mentally and physically stronger version of myself, I was able to meet a 5-year goal.  I honored 
who I was and became the person I wanted to be.


When I am not wearing high heels, I am wearing running sneakers.  And both make me feel just as beautiful.  And I am gently reminded that in order to become a stronger version of the person I currently am, I have to honor the caterpillar I am in the present moment while preparing for the butterfly I want to be in the future.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

How Do You Perceive Yourself

 

It is my belief that how you perceive yourself is not the same way in which others perceive you.  Take a moment and look at the picture in this post.  If what you see in the mirror is only the straight-forward view of yourself, then you are not looking at the rest of your beautiful self.  There is so much more to you than just one view.  And other people have the ability to see beauty in you that you do not see in yourself. 

For example, my husband always says that I am too hard on myself.  He explains that I do not give myself enough credit for the things I do and the woman I have become.  And maybe he is right, because he sees me from a different perspective.  His perception is through the lense of his loving and genuinely caring view of me.  


When I look in the mirror, I perceive myself to be someone who is pretty on the outside, and yet I am sad on the inside.  This is because I battle bipolar disorder.  Therefore, I know it is important to take care of myself.  

For these reasons, I like to wear jeans or nice pants and a fun shirt to compliment the look.  And if you know me, you will most likely see me sporting a pair of high heel shoes.  I feel good when I dress nicely.  Even though I may not feel confident inwardly, it makes me want to hold my head up high.  While clothes and shoes do not define who I am, I choose to look good on the outside to contrast my inner-most feelings of negative self-worth.  

On the other hand, a pair of yoga pants and sneakers feels really good sometimes, too.  And there is nothing wrong with sweat pants and flip flops.  This is a no-judgement zone for you to find comfort in who you are as a person, no matter how you perceive yourself.  

I hope that today and always you shine both on the inside and outside.  You are beautiful no matter what you wear.  This is because you are perfectly you.  


Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

I Will Never Leave Your Side

 

Recently my best friend has been struggling with depression.  Her inability to vocalize this until more recently has been devastating to me.  I feel like I have not been the friend that she needs.  This is because when she did finally reach out to me via text, she explained that she felt like she was suffering in silence. 

Being someone who battles bipolar and anxiety disorders, I have a special place in my heart for mental health.  I have lived most of my life with mental illnesses, and I have grown a deep empathy for others who struggle through mental health challenges.  

It is for this reason that I felt so sad when my best friend told me she was suffering silently with depression.  She explained that getting out of bed in the morning was difficult.  She said that she spent every moment battling through work just to get through the day.  And every ounce of her body wanted nothing more than to constantly cry out of deepened sadness that she never knew she could feel.  

Recent events have reminded me that suffering is not always loud.  I know that being alone is not always peaceful.  And I understand the importance of getting out of bed and simply having a sip of water.  And then sending just one or two text messages can use up all of someones energy for that day.  

The friend that I long to be, is the person that people reach out to when they need someone by their side.  I do not want to stand back and watch life pass me by.  Instead, I want to be actively involved in the daily life of the people that I love the most.  My heart is broken for my friend and I feel like I failed her by not noticing her pain sooner.  

I hope this is a subtle reminder that it is okay to not be okay.  That when you feel despair, I hope you reach out to a loved one whom you trust with your heart.  And if you feel you have no one, my hope is that you will reach out to a professional for the help that you so desperately need.  

Amongst the chaos of my life, my best friend did not want to reach out to me because she did not want to "bother me".  But, little did she know, she could never be anything but a perfectly precious part of my life.  And I wanted her to know this.  I wanted her to know that she could never be a bother to me because I love her so much. 

As soon as we finished our text message conversation, I grabbed my pocketbook and went to the store.  I bought her a pair of one inch white high heels, and I drove to her house.  I snuck them in her mailbox with a note, "I love you.  You are not alone.  And I hope these heels are a reminder of your inner strength and ability to get through this tough time".  Then I sent her a text message, "A secret admirer left a little something in your mailbox".  I drove away knowing that she is my best friend, and I will never leave her side.  

 Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

I Am Not Settling For Less

I. Am. Not. Settling. For. Less.  I am not settling for less.  I, personally, am not settling for less.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I will not beg others to choose me.  I, personally refuse to beg anyone else to choose me.  Instead, I will shine bright like a diamond until I am found.  

In one of my previous jobs, I spent a great deal of time explaining who I was and what I had to offer.  I was always justifying my worth to my colleagues and my supervisor.  I would work on projects for days making sure that every element of them was done with precision and perfection.  And while I worked very hard, I made many mistakes.  

I settled not because I became stagnant but because I let my job, my projects and my peers define my worth.  I begged others to chose me as I worked hard through failed promotions.  And I constantly lived vicariously through those people who I felt were more successful than me.  My worth was defined by my title and my income.  And this defined my status as I related to other people in my life.  

When I reflect on this, I remember that my life is mine to live.  For example, my worth is not based on the acceptance of others.  Their feelings towards my successes does not directly align with the person I have become throughout my own life's journey.  And I refuse to settle knowing full well that first and foremost, I choose me.  And I will keep shining despite how others perceive who I was and the woman I have yet to become.  

My advice to you is to be a diamond.  Be yourself and you will shine brightly.  Do not seek out validation from others but instead find your worth within your soul.  And know that while it is important to not settle, it is also pertinent to shine.  Because by being yourself, you will shine so brightly that you will be found by the people who love, care and respect you for who you are.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

You Get To Decide

You get to decide.

You are not your pain. You are not your mistakes. You are not your childhood, your heartbreaks, or the people who couldn't love you right. You are what you chose to do with all of it.

Every habit you've picked up, every fear you carry, every wall you've built, it all came from somewhere. And while it makes sense that you learned to protect yourself the way you did, it's also okay to unlearn. To question. To shift. To grow. You're allowed to rewrite the story.

Just because life handed you broken pieces doesn't mean you can't build a masterpiece. So take your pain. Take your lessons. Take all the messy, raw, unfiltered parts of your journey, and turn them into power. Into wisdom. Into purpose.

The past shaped you. But you define you. Your story isn't over. You're just getting started.

-Written by 3am thoughts

My friend recently shared this writing with me.  I felt it in my soul that so many of the words and phrases resonated with my life.  The meaning behind the written word has so much depth, and added a level of clarity to my past and my present.  And it positively affects where I am going in the future.  


It is amazing to me how much I have learned from my past.  It is the opportunity for me to reflect on what I did, and where I was at different stages of my life.  Yet, while I know I can look back, I am also aware that remaining stagnant in the past can be unhealthy.  

As I honor where I came from, I use this to mold where I am going.  I can pick up the broken pieces and choose to make them into something beautiful.  This will support everything that the future holds for me.  It is so important to look ahead at what can be so precious as it unfolds in different ways.  

I fear being stuck in the situations of my past.  And, at the same time, I want to find a balance where I chose to not look too far ahead to where I am going in the future.  And today, as I slipped my feet into my high heeled shoes, I remember all that I am and the woman I will look forward to becoming.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

Stronger Than You Think

It was a Monday at 2:30pm.  I woke up with a migraine and it refused to go away.  My head was pounding and my heart was distraught.  By 2:31pm, I finally pulled myself out of bed.  And by 2:32pm, I got myself to the sink to brush my teeth and wash my face.  2:33pm brought an onset of tears that just wouldn't stop.


I have had chronic migraines since 2018, when I started a job with great levels of executive visibility and management scrutiny.  All my work was watched, reviewed and processed with a fine-tooth comb.  And with every project, a new headache would appear.  The pressure was immense and the internal workings of my brain suffered greatly.  The migraines have not subsided since that time in my life.  

I still suffer from migraines.  I average 1 migraine per week and they last anywhere from 4 hours to 3 days.  They start behind my eyes, work their way up my face and into the top of my brain, down the back of my head and into my shoulders.  I have multiple levels of neurologic medications and support for this chronic illness, yet they still show their ugly face.  

7 years of migraines is exhausting and this past Monday, I had enough of it all.  I felt weak, exhausted, in pain.  And I was desperate for health and healing.  I wanted to scream to the world yet all I could do was cry.  So that is what I did.  

Recently a friend asked me, "what is your trigger for your migraines?"  When I worked in 2018, my trigger was stress.  But right now, I am not working, so there is no reason for me to be stressed out.  Therefore, how could I possibly be suffering from migraines?  Wrong.  To be clear, whether you work or not, you can still feel multiple levels of stress.

My family is going through a huge transitional time in our lives.  And I have a court date coming up for my long-term need to be on disability.  Going to court is scary and telling my story to a judge who gets to determine my financial future is terrifying.  I have 5 doctors who, due to my mental and physical health, feel as though I am not well enough to work.  Yet, the financial disability support system has deemed me eligible to work.  Therefore, I am going to court to plead my case.  


With my head still snuggled into my towel and the tears still flowing, I said to myself, "Stop.  That is enough.  Wipe your tears.  We have a day to finish."  At 2:35pm, my face was dry and I was staring at my clock.  It was time to get changed, have a cup of coffee and push through yet another migraine.  But this time, it was different because even though it was hard, I knew I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.  


Maybe you will go through minutes that are very tough.  And sometimes it feels like it will never end and the pain will never stop.  But I remain hopeful that even through the tears, there is light in resilience.  There is strength beyond the pain.  And there is perseverance through the struggle.  And maybe, we are all stronger than we think.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

If You're Happy And You Know It!

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it and your face will surely show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands!"

I have had that kids song stuck in my head all day today.  It has been going around and around in circles on repeat since I dropped my daughter off at school this morning.  Not because we were singing the song together, but because of the topic of our conversation.  

We rarely get to school early, but today was one of those special days.  We both woke up on time, got ready speedy quick and hopped into the car.  I was able to take my time and drive my daughter to school in a timely fashion.  And we got there before the bell rang so we sat in the car in the drop-off line with the other parents.  

As we waited, a car pulled up behind me and beeped its horn.  I looked in front of me and saw numerous other cars.  I looked to my left and saw the school building.  I looked to my right and saw all the kids who walk to school.  And finally, I took a deep breath and looked around behind me.  

The man in the car behind me was flailing his arms up and down.  Then he motioned for me to drive forward by waving his arms in an onward direction.  So I turned back around and said out loud in an angry voice, "WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO GO?!"  My calm little angel in the back seat responded, "Mommy, why did he make you so mad?"  

As we continued to sit in the car and wait for the bell to sound for school to start, I pondered my current situation.  Part of me wanted to get out of the car and chat with the man behind me.  I would say, "Hello sir!  Clearly there is no where I can go, so I am not sure why you beeped your horn at me in a school parking lot!  Have a good day!"  But instead of initiating a conversation outside the car, I decided to turn this into a learning lesson inside the car.  

My daughter and I engaged in a discussion about how people can quickly, within moments, make you feel differently.  For example, I was happy, calm and collected until the man behind me beeped his horn.  At which point in time, I became irritable, annoyed and angry.  With one simple sound, I turned off my joy and turned on my frustration.  

It is amazing to me how one beep of a horn reminded me to not let other people steal your joy.  This was a life lesson of how quickly a situation can change how you feel, but yet my reaction to the situation mattered much more than the honking of the horn.  My emotions changed because I allowed someone to have an affect over me, rather than staying calm and maybe not even reacting at all.  

So when the bell rang and my daughter wiggled her way out of the car, I leaned over and said, "What did we learn today?!"  And she goes, "Don't let other people dictate how you feel!  And I love you!  And goodbye!"  

The next time you slide your feet into those special shoes, I hope you will honor the feelings you have in your heart.  And my special thought for you, is to learn from my situation and try to be mindful of your feelings as you react to other people.  Maybe take a deep breath and look around you to determine the severity of the circumstances first.  Then lean into your own feelings and away from allowing others to make you feel unhappy.  Therefore, "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!"  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

No Patience Left

 

I run out of patience so easily.  I feel like while patience is an important virtue, it is not one that I readily possess.  I feel like my patience is constantly limited.  And while I have a lot of great attributes as a person, having patience does not tend to be top on my list.   

I recently read an article about a famous singer who literally never talks down to children.  Instead of height being a distinct difference, this celebrity always squats down when they talk to young children who are significantly shorter than themselves.  They make it a point to get to a child's view of the world before talking or embracing a younger person.  

The article was important to me because it reminded me of how I present myself to young children as well.  Whether it is my daughter, my nieces and nephews or children of my friends, I make it a point to try and speak to them at their level.  And it makes a big difference as to how I interact with younger individuals.  

BUT what does this have to do with patience?  I know that there are certain circumstances in life that test my patience more than others.  And many of these situations revolve around kids.  For instance, I was taking care of my niece and she wanted to go outside but it was raining.  So, I squatted down to her level and snuggled her up in my arms.  I explained to her that it was raining outside which means we had to find an indoor game to play.  At which point in time, she screamed "NO I AM GOING OUTSIDE!" and every part of me lacked patience to deal with this temper tantrum.  

So, I did what every good aunt would do.  I stood up, took a deep breath, and watched my niece roll around on the floor in anger.  At this point, every part of my patience was running thin.  I could think of 20 different indoor activities we could play, but none of these ideas sounded like "fun" to my little niece who wanted only to go outside.  

At this point, it was time to get creative with the plan.  We were going outside one way or another because I had no patience to try and negotiate with this angry little human.  So, I got back down on my knees, calmed her down by gently rubbing her back and promised an alternative solution to this problem.  Looking into her little eyes, I told her to get bundled up, put on her rain coat and boots because we were going outside to play in the rain.  

When I tell you we got soaking wet, we got WET.  Every layer of my clothing was soaked all the way through by playing in the rain.  But, watching my niece smile made it all worth while.  And after about a half hour, we went inside, changed into dry clothes and had a cup of hot chocolate. 

The frustration I had due to my lack of patience felt unbearable.  And during times when my patience runs thin, I know that I need to take a deep breath and momentarily remove myself from the situation.  I have to clear my mind and make way for a plausible solution to the problem at hand.  And sometimes, I just need to honor the fact that patience may not be one of my greatest qualities.  However, I also learned a long time ago to use skills that I readily have at hand.  And problem solving is, in fact, a virtue I possess.  

So when in doubt, I lean into my greatest qualities as a person and breathe through my impatience.  And whether in high heels or rain boots, I always try to squat down to make eye contact with all the little humans in my life when I speak to them.  I know that finding patience, when there is none left, can be hard.  And yet walking away to take a moment to myself helps me through these difficult situations.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it. 

You Mean Something To Someone

I recently read, "Be The Reason Someone Feels... supported, seen, valued, welcomed, heard and loved".  And this simply and subtly shook my world.  Knowing full well that I have the ability to care about someone so much that they feel seen and valued makes me feel so important to the people around me.  It makes me want to be a better version of myself because I live in a world where I can have a positive affect on other people.  And so can you because you mean something to someone.


I was at the supermarket the other day and I ran into an old friend.  He walked right up to me and said, "Hi! Oh my goodness I was thinking of you earlier today!  I feel like I haven't seen you in a while.  I am so glad I ran into you today and that you are okay."  I embraced him with a huge hug and told him I was so grateful that the world brought us together.  A simple "hello" meant so much to both of us.  Before we left and went our own ways, I said, "Thank you for thinking of me and caring about me".


It meant so much to me that I came to mind for a friend earlier in the day.  The simple fact that he thought of me means that he cares.  And since the world brought us together, he was able to have the opportunity to tell me how much he missed me.  He let me know that he cared enough about me that I was on his mind. And that I was a part of his world because friends leave impacts on the lives of one another.


That night, I was talking to my husband and shared with him who I saw at the grocery store.  And as I was telling the story, it sat heavily on my heart that in that moment, I meant something to someone.  And you mean something to someone, too.


There are people in your life that mean the world to you and you mean the world to them.  This person has a special impact upon your life.  Sometimes this is a best friend, a family member or someone you just met for the first time.  Maybe you talk to them all the time.  Other times, it is a person you see less frequently but they care about you more than you could ever imagine.


Today as you put your high heels on, I hope you will also snuggle a warm smile into your heart knowing that you matter.  You matter to someone who cares very deeply about your presence in this enormous world.  You, my friend, mean something to someone out there who loves you and cares about you very much.


LOVE PEOPLE LOUDLY.

Tell them often.
Cheer them on as they go after their goals.
Hug them (if they like hugs) every chance you get.
No one ever got to the end of their life and thought,
"I wish I'd left more people wondering about how much I cared."
By Lori Descene


Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

The Gift Of Time

 

Recently, I have been struggling to better understand the importance of time.  And as I was pondering this question, I began thinking more about the concept of time as a gift to both myself and others.  This includes continuing to give other people segments of my time because these moments are precious.  I know that time, to me, is a gift that I can gladly offer to another person knowing that I will never get those moments back.  

I have a Masters Degree in Organization and Leadership.  In my studies, I discovered how we relate to others and how we see ourselves in relationship with the rest of the world around us.  For example, a person who is a leader sees themselves in the reflection of others.  Therefore, a leader collaborates with others knowing the importance of coordination amongst relationships.  

As I unraveled my graduate studies, I learned about the importance of the past, present and future.  For example, a leader learns from the past so that they can look forward to a different future.  And, honoring the present moment means reflecting on the time which has gone before them and therefore looking forward to the moments that have yet to be part of their lives.   

The importance of this theory is that a person who is a "leader" will lean into the present moment.  They are witness to the importance of each special moment in our lives.  And they guide others to see the importance of the present.  And for some people, the greatest gift that they can be given is someone else giving, to them, some of their time.  

When I look around me, I see leaders all over the world.  Leaders are not just present in organizations and businesses.  Some people are born oozing leadership skills knowing how to collaborate in relation with others around them.  And other times, leadership is learned as we co-create safe spaces to spend time with each other.  

When you look in the mirror, do you see a leader?  I know that I do!  Because in each present moment, we give our gifts of time in different ways.  For example, when we listen to a friend who needs someone to talk to.  Or when we send a text message to someone who came to mind that maybe we have not spoken to in a while.  Or, we will take a moment, to tell a person we do not know, that their bright pink shoes are pretty just to see a smile on their face!

Each one of these moments is important to someone that it affects.  We cannot get those moments back because as they pass us by, they become part of our past.  But if we are here on earth to look forward to the future, then I hope we will lean into the gift of giving our time to others.  This serves both us and those around us by honoring our importance in the lives of one another. 

So today, put on your high heels and walk out into the world knowing that you, too, are a leader.  This is because you know that every moment of your life has an affect on the lives of those around you.  And that collaboration in relationship with others is very important and honorable.  Each moment that we offer another person is a simple yet powerful gift.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Be Fierce And Courageous

 

Today I was struck with the word "fierce".  So, I looked it up and one of the many definitions of the word is, "showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity".  When I think of this word, I envision a person who is strong, proud, passionate and ready to face any situation head-on.


I coupled this word with "courage".  And this means, "having mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty".  Being courageous can be incredibly difficult, but the end result of persevering through a given situation can be extremely beautiful.  

My daughter recently said, "Mommy, we all have to find a way to be fierce. But being fierce is not about being the best.  It is about having the courage to do what you want to do."  I would lovingly argue that my 10-year-old is wise beyond her age, and she is intelligent enough to implement her comment. 

So, she continued the conversation with a real-life example to further explain what she meant.  At which point she said, "A gymnast may be scared to do a roundoff into a back handspring.  But, they need to have enough courage to do the skill.  They need to have the courage to learn how to do the skill.  In order to try it for themselves, they need to be fierce.  They have to have the courage to be fierce and be fierce enough to have courage.  Then and only then, Mommy, will they be able do the skill to the best of their ability."  

While I am not physically fit enough to do a back handspring, I am intelligent enough to know that there are many life lessons to learn through her words.  Do I have the courage to learn something new?  Am I fierce enough to implement the new skill that I learned?  Yet, I also know that being fierce is not just about learning a new skill.  Rather it is about having a new mindset.  This could be a new way of perceiving different situations that life unfolds right in front of me.  

So today, I ask you to take a moment and think about the courage that you possess within yourself.  Do you strive to be fierce through the challenges that life presents to you?  I know that whatever life throws in your direction, you will handle it with grace and poise.  This is because each one of us is beautiful and perfect in our own way.  So, slide your feet into those high heel shoes and be the fierce courageous person you were born to be!

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Do Not Clip Their Wings, Add Feathers

Someone once wrote, "Each of us shines in our own unique way, so there's no need to dim or block one another's light.  Let us shine brightly together as a collective whole."  

This quote really spoke to my soul.  I believe in the importance of lifting up one another, and I value surrounding myself with people who do the same to me as well.  It is as if we are all beautiful angels with wings that have feathers.  People who love and value you will add feathers to your wings.  While those who don't, may clip your wings and it can be detrimental to your wellbeing.  

Ever since the start of my professional career, I have always looked up to financially successful female role models.  Many women I follow are entrepreneurs while some are politicians, personal trainers and organizational leaders.  The women I admire have worked very hard to achieve the respect of others and the financial status that they hold.  

Last week, I was reading about a female self-made millionaire.  She explained that the small business she started grew into a huge successful organization.  And during her journey, she stated that she paid no mind to other people and led a lonely selfish lifestyle.  She outwardly stated that she felt like no one wanted her to succeed.  She said she was alone and had no friends nor family to support her throughout her professional career. 

It is very interesting how much I let this woman's story bother me.  I was impressed with her journey to financial freedom, yet part of me was very saddened that she felt so lonely.  Not only did she feel unsupported, but she also felt that other people did not want her to succeed at all.  And this made me very upset because I believe that the way in which we interact with others is very important.  And as we cross paths with various people, I think finding ways to add feathers to the wings of our surrounding angels is important.  This helps us soar higher and fly further than we have ever gone before.  

Today and always, I hope you will make a conscious decision to try and surround yourself with people who add feathers to your wings.  People who add value, love and support throughout your time here on earth.  And I also hope, that as you place your feet into your high heels, you will make a conscious effort to add feathers to the wings of other people as well.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Hobbies We Unwrap Are Gifts To Others

 

Growing up, I had a few simple hobbies.  My grandmother taught me how to sew and I would make clothes for my dolls.  And my mom taught me how to crochet.  Together, my mom and I made blankets and scarves.  While these hobbies were enjoyable, nothing really stuck out to me that I did often, just for myself.


I feel like a hobby is a little gift that we offer ourselves for simple pleasures or even relaxation.  A few examples of hobbies are playing a musical instrument, knitting, reading, walking, coloring, writing or doing yoga.  And these hobbies can turn into gifts when we bless others with them.  For instance, a person who knits may gift others with scarves.  Or a person who plays a musical instrument may play in a band.


Do you have a hobby?  How long have you done your hobby?  What excites you most about this hobby?  Now that you have one in mind, what about this activity gives you pleasure, peace and a sense of simple soulful purpose?  And if you are open to sharing this hobby with others, what are some ways that you can unwrap your gift and make it a habit?  

When we take our hobby, make it a habit and share it with others, it becomes a beautiful gift.  Not all hobbies are to be shared with others because they are special to the person who uses them as a means in which to rest and find relaxation.  But they can become beautiful gifts when we are open to sharing them.  

Recently, I was talking to my counselor about my hobbies.  I personally like to go for walks and color.  And I still like to sew as well.  But, he asked me point blank, "What is your gift and how do you unwrap it?"  And I knew immediately that I am already using my hobby of writing, making it a habit and sharing it as a gift to others through my blog.  

A hobby should make you smile on the inside.  It should be something special you can lean into on your most chaotic days to calm your mind and ease your heart.  And sometimes, when we make a hobby a habit, we can return to this activity when we need it the most on a tough day.  

I hope today, when you put on your high heels, you will think about your hobbies.  And I wonder if you unwrap them, and share them with others, what kind of a special gift you can offer the world.  And while the activities of life spin around us, I hope you will find time to pursue your own hobby that makes you smile and gives you comfort.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Being A Mommy To Lots Of Plants

I LOVE plants!  And I LOVE being a plant Mommy!  All my plants have names and I talk to them all the time.  They look different, need various lights of sun in order to grow, and they all require a certain amount of water to stay healthy.  

When I water my plants, I talk to them.  When they are not growing or even drooping, I touch their little leaves and put on my fingers on their soil to find out what nutrients they may be lacking.  Sometimes they need more light.  Other times, they need fresh soil.  And sometimes they need a friend so I move them closer to other plants where they can flourish and grow together.  

I have a piece of my great grandmothers plant.  Her original plant was so big that we trimmed it down, rooted the pieces and the children were all given a little plant.  This happened for two generations and now I have my own plant which I have propagated multiple times.  This plant was named after my great-grandmother and her name was Mary.   

Unfortunately, one of my Mary plants had "root rot" and was dying.  I over-watered her this winter for fear that her soil was too dry because of the heater.  However, I was wrong and she became very sick.  So, I salvaged what I could of her and re-potted her.  I put her in new soil and in a new location in my house.  Sadly, Mary went into shock and started wilting.  I thought I had lost my original little Mary plant forever.  

However, for an early Mothers Day gift, my husband and daughter gave me a wooden plant stand.  I moved a lot of my plants over to this stand, including my little dying Mary.  Much to my surprise, Mary started to heal.  And then, she began to grow again.  She loved the new location, snuggled around lots of plant friends, and enjoyed the heat of the morning light without it being directly on her leaves.  

If the saying is true, and people are similar to plants, then each individual person requires something different in order to flourish and grow.  Each person may need different nutrients in their soil.  We all require a different amount of fluids.  And while some people are most comforted when they are alone, other people need a community in order to grow.  

As I look at my little plants and analyze their needs in order to thrive and survive, I also look in the mirror and honor my own needs.  And I hope you will do the same for yourself.  For example, is your soil being watered enough?  Are you surrounding yourself with family and friends who will help you grow?  Are your roots planted firmly so that you can stand strong and proud?  As you put on your special shoes today, I hope you will reflect on what makes you grow as a beautiful, blossoming uniquely precious individual.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

The Glass Is Refillable

There is an old saying relating to how someone perceives events in life.  It is called, "is the glass half full or half empty?"  Therefore, imagine a glass that has water filled to the halfway point.  An optimistic person may say that they have enough water in the glass to enjoy a refreshing drink.  On the contrary, a pessimistic person may suggest that there was only a small amount of water left in the glass and that it is a huge bummer that there may not be enough water to drink in order to feel refreshed.  

One person could look at the glass of water and see that the glass of water is half full.  This would be perceived as an optimistic perspective.  So the life application of this thought pattern is that this particular person sees the challenges of life as being positive.  For example, if this person were to lose their job, they would see this as an opportunity instead of a challenge.  Maybe they would see this as time to spend with their family, a new beginning to look for a new job, and find joy in going back to school or changing their career. 

On the contrary, a person who looks at the same exact glass of water may see the glass as being half empty.  This would be considered a pessimistic perspective and a negative view of a given situation.  Should this person lose their job, they would be devastated, saddened, and upset.  They may not see this as an opportunity but instead as a financial and person burden to themselves and their family.  

Interestingly enough, I recently was talking to my friend about this exact analogy.  Over a yummy cup of coffee, I point blank asked her if me losing my job should be viewed as a glass half empty or glass half full scenario.  She looked at me straight in the eyes and said, "Well, what if I see it differently?  Because to me, the glass is exactly what I need at this time in my life.  Furthermore, the glass is always refillable should you have access to more liquids".  We smiled together and continued along with our conversation.  

Later on that day, I began pondering my perspective on this particular saying and I began contemplating my own reality.  For instance, what liquids do I use to refill my cup?  In my hypothetical world, the liquids could represent hobbies, exercise or music.  I fill my cup with meditation, I spend time with nature, I express my creative side through writing and sometimes I go for a walk.  All these different things add up and help me keep my glass of water exactly what I need for this particular time in my life.  

Maybe, just maybe, the glass is not half full and it certainly is not half empty.  But instead, the glass is always refillable.  Therefore, it is simply what we chose to do within the confines of the glass we are given and how we perceive the way in which we refill it.  Today, I hope you will take a moment and think about where you are in life.  Because your glass is filled to perfection since you are exactly where you need to be in your life at this point in time.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

A Cancer Roller Coaster

I personally have a roller coaster of emotions related to cancer.  It has put me on a long journey through the lives of the people I love.  This includes those who have had and who have passed because of this tragic illness.  And it continues to show its ugly face as I grow older.  


When I was 7 years old, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  At the time, the doctors estimated he would live 6 more months.  My father fought through radiation and chemotherapy.  He went to some of the best hospitals in the area for second opinions to get the support that he needed to stay alive.  Beyond the 6 month diagnosis, we were blessed with 15 years of my father going in and out of remission before cancer took his life.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about and miss my father.  

When my husband was in college, he lost his mother to breast cancer.  I met him shortly after his mother passed away.  Unfortunately, this means that I never had the opportunity to meet my mother-in-law.  From the deepest parts of my heart, I never knew that I could miss someone so much of whom I never had the opportunity to meet.  

Cancer has had an overwhelming amount of impact on the lives of many people and animals than I love dearly.  My grandfather passed away from lung cancer before my daughters third birthday.  My precious cat, Ninja, died one year ago of bone cancer.  And most recently two of my friends were diagnosed with cancer.  One of those friends had surgery to remove the tumor and they are currently in remission.  My other friend is in the middle of a long, hard battle with breast cancer.

A wise person once told me that cancer knows no limits.  Cancer knows no age, gender, race, skin color, social status nor ethnicity.  It has no mercy for those people it affects, and shows no care to those who love them.  And I know that I am not the only person affected by this horrible disease.  

I believe that what lies in the pain of grief is a love that no boundaries can stop.  Though illness is traumatic and can be tragic, I have seen for myself that love will always find a way to the forefront of grief, pain and suffering.  And in the midst of the life-long battles that my readers may face, including the trials and tribulations that life brings, I hope you know that you are incredibly loved, worthy and cherished.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.

Life's Teaching Moments

My late Mother-in-Law, Claire, was known for using the saying, "This too shall pass".  Through this saying, she expressed that tough times do not last forever.  Claire knew that when faced with challenges, it was important to not remain captive of the obstacle.  Instead, she explained the importance of moving forward knowing that the rough time will pass and light will shine again.  Claire battled and eventually passed away from breast cancer.   


I know in my heart that rough times will certainly pass by me, but that does not diminish how hard it is to live through what the circumstances may be.  For example, right now I am fighting chronic migraines.  I also battle Long COVID chronic fatigue, brain fog and anxiety.  The Long COVID brain fog can be embarrassing when I repeat myself multiple times, each time saying the same thing I stated just minutes before.  And I still have days of depression as I sort through living with bipolar disorder.  

I was recently with a woman who said, "Everything happens in my life for a reason".  At face value, she was just promoted at her job, her finances were flourishing, she was dating an incredible person and her kids were doing amazing at school.  Yet the rest of her truth is that she lost her job a year ago and re-built her career.  She got a divorce 6 months ago from a person who was abusive and she is now finding romantic love again.  And her son has a debilitating illness yet he is currently in remission.  

As I struggle with finances, manage my health and make sure I am present for my family, I know that tough times will pass me by.  Sometimes my best day is one where I take my daughter to school and then take a long nap.  Other times my best day is sitting at my desk in my small yellow-painted office writing to all of you.  And yet other times, I know that I try my hardest to just get out of bed.  But above all, I know that while my best may look different every day, I will always feel good knowing that I am enough.  


As I fill this post with wise words, I will leave you with one more saying:  "Don't ask why its happening to you. Ask what it's teaching you".  Right now, I do not know why life is taking me down this particular path.  But I do know that I try to remember the wise words of my mother-in-law and not get stuck mentally in the current moment.  Maybe some things in life unfold for a reason beyond my understanding.  And just maybe, I have no clue why life events are happening to me, but I can look around me and find a lesson to be learned during one of life's teaching moments.  

Love Note: With all my heart, I genuinely request that due to the content written, please seek the guidance of professional help should you feel you need it.